Venomous Poison
by AngelUriel
Summary: Set deep in the unknown past, Severus Snape is battling his obsessions. Will he be consumed by them, or will he show them to the world? SSOC, SSLE. Rating so, because it has implied rape, violence and can get pretty icky later on. Replaced Chapters!
1. Claire Obsession

This is a replaced chapter, because half of the information here before was wrong. I had a good look at Lexicon for the first time, and I realised that I was SO wrong. - blushes.

I fixed up a few of the characters, so I have Regulus Black insted of Lucius Malfoy...and changed Snape's birthday to its _actual _time.

It was really weird, I was flamed by the biggest Arsonist the other night. It's actually quite sad that some guy (you don't write like a girl, whoever you are) spent at least twenty minutes writing down insults for just one chapter. It's actually quite a piece of work and I'm somwhat bemused that someone would go into all that trouble. If you want to see it, just click on reviews and take a look for yourself.

Apart from that: I don't own Harry Potter, JKR does.

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Silence and shimmering silver smoke hovered over the potions class as the students concentrated on their work. Professor Slughorn sauntered in between the desks and cauldrons, his stomach leading the way before him. The professor was at a stage to judge who had the best Well-Being potion, but was at a loss to decide who would win the bucket of chocolate frogs he had bought the evening before: young Severus Snape had already finished his work and was bottling the clear yellow liquid, yet Lily Evans' potion had released the sweet lavender smell and simmering gently on the cauldron which had failed to appear in Snape's. Snape had already noticed this and his eyes burned towards the bottled potion he held in his hands. That delightful smell was suddenly overwrought with the smell of burnt rose; it seemed that James Potter had once again added basil at the wrong time of the experiment. Slughorn shook his head and laughed discretely.

"Time's up!" he said, and he inspected each student's cauldron. He smiled bleakly over the Griffindor boys' potions, "nice try Lupin, but you forgot the golden apple peel, same for you Mr Black." He hummed over James' and Pettigrew's work then laughed out loud, "Amazing Peter, you've succeeded to make Au Claire, the skin cleanser potion, 10 points for Griffindor for accidental genius!"

He approached Snape's table and took up a bottle of the potion, Slughorn smiled warmly, "you've taken it from the cauldron a little too early Severus," he said gently. Snape nodded grimly and made a note in his textbook. Walking over to Lily's table he laughed, "This is the winner of today's competition! Well done Lily, here are your chocolates. 20 points for Griffindor!"

The girl took the chocolate gratefully and shared a small smile with her close friend. Slughorn dismissed the class and they moved towards the door.

"Severus, could I see you for a minute?" Slughorn called for the tall, peaky young man. Snape waited until everyone had left the dungeon.

"I'm sorry professor! I did everything right, I don't understand what went wrong." Snape spluttered, as Slughorn sat at his desk.

"Calm down, Severus…you did everything right." Slughorn held out an open hand to calm him down.

"I don't…understand." Snape enquired, brushing back his lank black hair.

"One of the factors in making the Well-Being potions depends on the mood of the maker: if the maker is in some way depressed, sad or unwell, the potion fails to react properly. I'm just enquiring why my star student wasn't up to par." Professor Slughorn looked kindly at Snape, his large hands clasped together on the table. Snape bit his lower lip and looked down nervously.

"Nothing to be worried about, professor." He lied softly. How could anyone understand what was going through his head? Snape blocked his mind from any intrusions. Slughorn frowned.

"I know something is on your mind, Severus," he said curtly, "but I won't enquire much more, if you think if it private…here's my suggestion: take some of this potion, two drops in your drink. It will help you feel better until the end of term." Slughorn passed Lily's potion to Severus. The boy pocketed the potion carefully, and nodded gratefully to the professor.

"And Severus?"

"Yes Professor?"

"I hope you are coming to the Christmas Ball this year?" Slughorn smiled.

"Uh, yes professor." Snape replied.

"Excellent! Bring someone along, if you want."

"Uh, yes…alright." Snape mumbled, his jaw clenching.

Gathering his things and walking out, he noticed a large bulge in his school satchel. Alone in the corridor, he sought for the object and withdrew a bottle of clear blue potion and a note wrapped around it.

_To Snivellus: Au Claire Potion._

_Use it well._

_Trust us, you need it._

_Yours Sincerely:_

_Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs_

He destroyed the paper in a burst of flame, but nothing could compare to the fire inside. He burned all the way back to the Slytherin common room, clutching the bottled until his knuckles stood out in his thin pale hand.

"Macbeth," he muttered the password to the entrance and walked straight to the large fire burning away. He prepared to throw the bottle into the fire, when a thought came to him, exacting revenge. Besides, he wasn't one to waste a good potion, judging not the maker.

"Hello Sev," drawled a voice behind him. Snape swivelled around to glance at the dark third year boy behind him.

"Regulus." Snape said curtly, "cut your hair, it's getting too long again."

"You're not the prefect." Regulus raised an eyebrow, flicking the shoulder length hair away from his face.

"Well, at least tie it up. You're beginning to look like a girl."

"Girl? Ha! Everyone can tell that I'm a boy…"

"Only because you wear pants, not because you look like a man." Snape said shortly, while Regulus stuttered.

"I am a man!" his voice broke a little. Snape laughed.

"You're twelve, Regulus. Tell me that once you get laid." Snape turned to the fire, smiling slightly.

"I bet that I'll get laid before you." Regulus muttered, falling into a bright green armchair, "and you're three years older than me."

"Nearly four actually, I turn 16 in a few weeks."

"Which makes you a…"

"Capricorn." Snape finished.

"You into divination?" Regulus asked.

"No, I have to put up with Littlechild babbling on about it at night. Anyway, are you trying to fill your big brother's shoes? Getting laid before I did?"

"Hands down." Regulus smiled, flushing a little. Snape shrugged.

"I'll tell you when I do…I'm not betting anything."

"Because you're scared that I'll win."

"No, because I'm broke…and knowing you, the price will be high."

"Fine. I'll tell you then, and I'll be laughing." Regulus pouted.

"Fine by me. I'm in no hurry." Snape smiled and shrugged a little, his dark eyes glittering in the firelight.

"I bet you're gay." Regulus muttered. Snape began to laugh.

"I can assure you that I'm not…anyway, have you seen the girls at this school? They're either porky or they're mudbloods." Snape sneered. It felt that he had to lie about his parentage, especially around so many purebloods in his house.

"James Potteer is pretty good looking," Regulus leered. Snape turned swiftly, his wand raised.

"Scourgify!" he shouted, and Regulus began to spit out yellow soap bubbles, "never say that! That is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard!"

"I take it back! I take it back!" Regulus cried, while a few older Slytherins laughed, "ugh, Sev. Lye soap?"

"It's because you're dirty." Snape grumbled. He turned and walked towards the boy's dormitories. He didn't dislike Regulus Black, but the more he talked to him, the more he felt he had to hide the truth about his life. The more he lied, the more he felt that he needed to bury the truth, lest they surfaced before anyone. He jumped onto his four-poster bed and pulled back the curtains. Here he was furthest from people, from the light, from reality.

"Accio Box!" he waved his wand, and a large wooden box zoomed through the curtains. As he opened it using magic, light emitted from his wand and he looked at each of his personal material: photos of his family in happier times; dress robes of dark grey; his muggle music cassettes; some superman comics and special expensive lotions he was saving for a particular night in the future. Gritting his teeth, he placed the Au Claire potion with the others, and he gently placed Lily's potion in his dress robes. He then scrounged around the bottom of the box and retrieved a small photo: the colours were not accurate of the time but you could clearly see the deep red hair of Lily Evans waving a Griffindor flag at the last house cup.

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TBC... 


	2. Ama's Woes

Keep reviewing! Even though it is hard to stand out over the other Harry fanfic, it's good to get this out.

All stories, characters and themesbelong to JKR...

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"Severus Snape!" Professor McGonagall shrieked later on in the Entrance Hall, "What by Merlin are you doing?"

Snape had successfully suspended all four Marauders in the air and had layered hex upon hex upon them.

"He snuck up behind us!" Sirius yelled; he resembled a large black Puffskein dressed in Hogwart's robes.

"No, they insulted me, my mother and my grandmother; torched my books and made my hair curl." And to Snape's credit, his hair floated around his hair in curls worthy of an afro.

"That was a counter-curse!" gritted James, his ridged body covered head to toe in bright green boils.

"Silencio!" Snape murmured and James continued to sprout obscenities silently.

"Detention Snape. And the same for you four up there." McGonagall said, muttering counter curses, brining them down with a plunk.

"But me and Remus didn't do anything." Peter whined, rubbing this mousy brown head.

"Thanks a lot, Wormtail!" Sirius growled, pointing a hairy finger at him.

McGonagall then shooed the Marauders towards her office and rebuked Snape, her brown hair was done tightly in a bun. Then she left.

Storming away to the nearest bathroom, Snape inspected his huge curls. Muttering in disgust, he de-frizzed it until he looked normal again. He looked into his dark brown eyes and pale face: he had inherited his father's dark hair and eyes, but his face was his mother's.

_Ugly bitch._ He thought and splashed water on his reflection in fury.

"I thought it looked good on you." Tinkled a voice behind him.

"Go away Myrtle." He muttered. The ghost of the girl floated from inside the toilet.

"Oh, that's lovely. "Go away Myrtle", "bite my arse, Myrtle," that's all I ever hear." She sobbed.

"Merlin," Snape growled, "were you on your period when you died? Your emotional state is getting on my nerves."

"Oh ho, a sexist one I see." Myrtle giggled, wiping away airy tears, "well, I'm sure that you wouldn't want to hear my message…well, my rumour from the girls' bathroom."

"What message?" Snape asked.

"Hmm, one of the girls was saying that you were cute, and the others laughed at her…I don't what her definition of cute was: "interesting, but ugly" might have been my def-

"Who said this?" Snape cut the ghost off. Myrtle looked offended.

"Some red-head…named after some flower…where are you going?"

"Out." And Snape flew long the corridors as fast as his heart raced. He finally had something to look forward to, some hope in his dark heart. He ran towards the Slytherin portal and slammed into the bare, stone wall. He had forgotten to say the password.

"Dammit, Macbeth!" the wall opened and he went straight to the dormitory. He swung open his box of personals and retrieved the expensive potions. He was suddenly looking forward to the Christmas Ball. He suddenly stopped. What if Myrtle was right? What if she looked at him as if he was some cute little kitten or ornament? It wasn't worth getting all hyped about it.

_Lily Evans,_ he thought, _I wish I could talk to you. I wish with my heart that I had the guts to ask you out._ How did Sirius do it? It came to him with ease, but that might only be because he was bone achingly handsome. If he had his body for one night…who knows what he would have done?

He thought of Polyjuice potions and his plans to use them, or using the potion of obsessive love to win her. A triumphant light came to his eyes.

_That's cheating Severus_ he thought, slinking back into his mattress. Is there anyway to win her heart with just his looks and personality?

He felt his face: the slim crooked nose, the strong chin, thin lips and the heavy brow ridge. His hair was lank and oily. He had no idea why it remained oily: he washed it every day, yet it seemed to glisten with thick moisture. He was tall yet he had no substance to his frame, but he had the strong wiry strength of a cat. What is so wrong with me, that she doesn't see me?

"Sevy?" a young female's voice quavered. Snape poked out his dark head to confront a short dark adolescent girl. Amaryllis Littlechild was on the verge of tears; her black eyes seemed to swim in the depths of her sorrow. Snape's eyes softened.

"Ama? Ama, what's wrong?" he asked, suddenly worried. Despite his complaints against her, he felt closest to her at the school. And Ama was the only person allowed to even sit on his bed. She clambered through the curtains and threw her arms around him.

"Ama? Tell me what happened." He demanded, clutching her shaking body. She began to cry big round tears. He took her face into her hands and wiped her cheek. _Ironic,_ he thought, regarding her pretty pixie-like face, _that she's the only beautiful girl who wants to touch me, and I feel no attraction to her what-so-ever._

"It-it was Rudolphus Lestrange," she sobbed, "he-he…"

"Did he hurt you?" Snape demanded.

Ama shook her head, "he wanted to touch me again. H-he took me into a class room –an-and…"

"Look into my eyes, Ama." Reluctantly she did so.

"Legimens," he said, placing his wand on her forehead. He saw a fleeting image of Ama pinned down under a curse, and the elder of the Lestrange brothers, Rudolphus touching her face, her chest and reaching lower. He was lifting up her skirts when Peeves the poltergeist had flown into the room and started to shriek for the teachers. He fled the room, and as the spell wore off, she too fled.

He withdrew hastily from the memory and hugged her harder, "you have to report this." He said.

"I can't, Sevy. I can't. How can I say this to Professor Slughorn, when I can't even say it to you?"

"You don't have to say it to Slughorn, you can go to the Matron, or the headmaster. Just tell someone."

"He will kill me!" she cried, "He will hunt me down, Sevy." She began to cry again. Awkwardly, he kissed her forehead.

"No he won't." he murmured. He lay along the length of the bed, and took her into his arms as she cried, "I'll make sure he won't."

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Amaryllis is a random charater, but she becomes important later on in the story...and for the ages of Death Eaters and other characters, I have no idea, but I'mdoing guesswork on this. 


	3. Losers and Victors

Another of my replaced chapters. In this one, I changed Lupin going up to the office to Dumbledore to postpone James' and Sirius' detentions. Thanks for pointing that out to me duj!

Don't own Harry Potter, JKR does.

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Ama had fallen asleep on his bed, her exhausted frame breathing easily after a tumult of tears. Regulus entered the room suddenly.

"Severus, why aren't you at dinner? Slughorn was enquiring where you were…what happened to Littlechild?" the dark boy pointed at he girl on Snape's bed.

"She had a tough day." Snape responded, "I need help getting her back to the girls' dormitory."

"Sure, I'll get Bellatrix to help you." He nodded. A few minutes later, the dark haired Bellatrix appeared. She sneered at the girl's sleeping form.

"Having some fun, Severus?" the seventh year inclined to the girl.

"No. Just levitate her to your dormitory, I would if I could." He responded truthfully. Bellatrix lazily waved her wand and floated the girl away. Snape found himself in a particular situation: leaving Ama to slowly destroy herself with her fears, or destroy the only close friendship he had by telling someone else. He walked down the corridor to the Great Hall and made it in time for desert. He sat quietly at the very end of the Slytherin table, and took some treacle tart. He glowered down the table at Rudolphus Lestrange, who in his seventh year and was tall, muscular and imposing. He was thinking of the best curse to place on him.

_Sectumsempra_ came to his mind, and he thought of wide slashes cutting across his chest. Venomous thoughts had totally obscured his mind so much, he did not notice Lily walk through the door with her friend Felicia.

"I can't _believe_ that Professor Binns gave us a three foot essay!" Felicia grumbled.

"I'll say, seriously, I'm going to fail my OWL purposely so I won't have to do History of Magic next year." Lily nodded. They had started talking about potions when Snape noticed them. He watched her out of the corner of his eye as the approached the tables, her deep red hair reflecting the candlelight.

"…I don't think I can eat much more, all those chocolate frogs." She stated. Suddenly she slipped on some spilt pumpkin juice. Snape watched as she slowly (at least to him) fell to the ground. He whipped out his wand and shouted a cushioning spell. She came softly to the ground as he walked over.

"Ah…what happened?" she muttered, sitting on the floor.

"It seems that you have slipped," Snape said sardonically, "are you all right Lily?" he offered a hand. She took it.

"Ah, thank you Severus, those were some good reflexes. Aren't you on the Quidditch team?" she blushed, smoothing her hair down. Snape laughed.

"No. I have ah…a lack of co-ordination." He smirked. She returned the laugh.

"Oh well, thank you anyway. I'll see you around Severus." She called, heading to her table.

"Bye," he whispered softly. He suddenly realised he was shaking with excitement. He grabbed on last treacle tart and walked back to the common rooms as calmly as he could.

He, Severus Snape, had successfully prevented beautiful Lily Evans from receiving a cracked skull. In return the young maiden had complimented him and called him by his first name in a _loving_ tone.

He stopped halfway down a lonely deserted corridor. He had noticed Sirius Black speaking to Remus Lupin in an urgent tone. Both had worried looks. He glanced around and snuck behind a suit of armour. He could just make out their voices.

"How are we going to get out of Detention tomorrow night? Wormtail cannot control you alone." Sirius hissed.

"If we use 'Plan B' we'll postpone the detention until later." Remus said gently. Snape frowned. What were they doing that was so important?

"In fact, I'll go and set up now," Remus continued, "do you want to come?"

"Nah, mate. Wormtail needed some help on his History of Magic essay…anyway, I swear that McGonagall's office knows me from sight…It's kinda freaky; I send the message to James." Sirius shrugged, and waited until Remus had walked out off sight.

In flash of light, Snape found himself struggling seven feet up in the air. Sirius was laughing in his peculiar dog-like fashion.

"Thought you could sneak around listening to other's private stuff, eh Snivellus?" he drawled. Snape was thrown hard against a wall, "Answer me!" he shouted.

"I was on my way to my common room! It was either hide or get beaten up by you." He shouted, reaching for his wand, noticing that it had fallen to the ground.

"I could've saved to the trouble of hiding," Snape was thrown against the wall again, "and didn't you know that you could've turned back. Don't ever lie to me again Snivellus." Sirius growled. Snape was released, and he landing on his arm with a sickening crack. He bit his lip in pain.

"If you ever want to know what we're doing, go to the Whomping Willow on a full moon. Press the knot on the trunk with a stick, and you'll see what I mean." He said mercilessly. Then he left, stepping on Snape's broken arm for good measure as he walked away. He screamed, his face dripping with sweat.

"Fuck you, Sirius!" he shouted to the handsome figure walking away, "I'll remember this day, and I will get my revenge!"

Sirius then disappeared, leaving Snape alone in the deepening darkness.

TBC...


	4. Lack of Coordination

Another replaced chapter...James is actually a chaser instead of a seeker as I originally thought...and Madam Pomfry was the matron at the time...

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Snape searched the floor for his wand, clutching his broken arm close to his chest. He did not know any first aid, and besides, his wand arm was the one that was broken. Warily, he made his way to the hospital wing, trying to ignore the stabbing agony along the way.

"Severus!" cried a shocked voice behind him. Turning around, he saw Lily approaching him with concern on her face, "What happened? You're hurt!"

"I fell down some stairs," he smirked bleakly, "lack of co-ordination, you see."

"That's a bad break." She stated, looking at the pain in his eyes, "I'll escort you to the hospital wing…so you don't fall down anymore stairs." She looked cheekily at him. Snape nearly forgot his pain. Was she flirting with him?

He followed her up to the hospital wing eagerly. Upon arriving, Madam Pomfry tutted over his arm, looking at them with young glittering eyes.

"You've broken it in some places which will take a little longer to fix. Do you mind staying perhaps for a quarter of an hour?" the matron said. Snape shook his head.

"I'll stay for a bit," Lily said. Snape looked at her sharply, amazed.

"I thought you would have things to do." He said, taking the potion that was given to him.

"It's Friday night, I don't have much on. Anyway, I don't like to see you getting a detention for being up after hours." She shrugged. He inhaled sharply, feeling his bones reknit.

"It's Skele-Grow, isn't it?" she said, noticing his pained look.

"Yes. I like making potions, but I hate taking them sometimes." Wincing as a spasm of pain cut across his hand.

"You're really good at Potions; Professor Slughorn treats you like the son he never had." Lily giggled.

"You're not too bad yourself," Snape said. _I can't believe I'm doing this,_ he thought, _I'm talking to her! And I'm not making a fool out of myself._

"I think I had a fluke this afternoon; you usually win Slughorn's prizes."

"I don't often use my prizes; normally I give them away."

"Oh really, to whom?" Lily asked, tilting her head to one side.

"Oh…to my friend Amaryllis. She deserves them more than I do." He responded. He felt small splinters of bones move under his skin, repairing quickly by magic.

"Are you going to the Christmas Ball with her?" she asked innocently. Snape chocked a little bit.

"ummm…she's not really interested in going. I've asked her once, but, she prefers to keep to herself," Snape felt beads of sweat gather on his forehead, "are you going with anyone?"

"No, no. James Potter nearly made himself my date the other day," Lily huffed, "and he's not even invited. I have no idea why, he's a really good chaser and all…"

Snape gulped, "do you like him?"

"He's okay. I'm not sure how on earth he can fit through the hole to the Griffindor common room with his fat head…but, these things weren't made for casual thinking." Lily replied. Snape snorted a little with laughter, and then winced again when he felt his bone straightened to normal. He flexed his fingers painfully.

"Nearly done," he commented, looking into her eyes, and he quickly averted his own. He had no idea how green they were, like emeralds suspended in crystal clear water. He had never actually made full eye contact with Lily, and her eyes in their perfect wholeness had nearly overwhelmed him.

"Does it still hurt?" she asked, and in reply there was an audible snap as the last bone was fixed back into place. He smiled, shaking his hand.

"No." _at least when you're around it doesn't._ Madam Pomfry walked lightly over, mildly surprised that the healing process had ended so quickly.

"That was quick, I swear you would be here much longer." She smiled.

"Must've been extra strength potion." Snape said, springing off the bed in the most un-Severus-like fashion, "ready to go?" he turned to Lily.

"Yes," Lily blustered, slightly bewildered at Snape's dramatic personality change. They walked down the corridors, talking about random topics: what quidditch team they barrack (Snape declaring that the Ballycastle Bats were far better than any other team; Lily smiled and said she liked Gryffindor); any siblings in their family (Lily rolled her eyes when she talked about her muggle sister) and nothing and everything in general. Snape suddenly found himself looking at the portrait of the Pink Lady.

"Ah," he said, "this is not my common room."

"You're quite right," Lily nodded, smiling a little, "I'm glad you're alright Severus-"

"Please, call me Sev."

"Alright, see you later Sev." And she whispered the password softly (Romeo), disappearing down the portrait hole.

Severus Snape punched the air in triumph, feeling the warm feeling of victory (however small) flood through his veins.


	5. Green Ink

I think I've replaced the whole goddamn story...

* * *

"I'm telling you Ama, the stewed willow shavings should go in after the pixie wings, not before-"

"But that's what it says in the book…" Ama retorted, showing the offending line on the yellowed parchment.

"And I'm saying Libatius Borage is a nincompoop under a Confundus Charm…" Snape hissed. A few days had passed, and Snape was becoming worried at Ama's ability to continue life as usual. She still hadn't told anyone about her assault, yet still smiled as if nothing had passed, "One of these days I will go down to the Ministry, bang down his door and rewrite the goddamn thing…and they wonder why potion poisoning is on the rise."

"Fine, I'll take your advice…meanwhile, your Runes isn't up to par… Gebo is used in any relationship, luck, business or love magic. I can see how you've mixed it up with Naubiz, the rune of need." Ama rambled, peering over his Runes work. They were studying in the library, afternoon sun streaming through the high windows.

"I'll go get a dictionary…why the hell I chose this subject, I don't know." He muttered, pushing away from the table. Ama shrugged, turning her dark head to her Divination homework. Snape prowled the bookshelves, then noticed Lily sitting on a bench, her browed furrowed over Potions homework.

Snape had a choice: to walk away then and grab the book he needed, or pretend to look up the Charms section near where Lily sat. He bit his lip and walked towards Lily slowly.

As he approached, Lily didn't look up, and he did a lot of show searching and picking appropriate textbooks, he didn't even look at the titles, keeping the red hair of Lily in the corner of his eye. She didn't even acknowledge his presence.

Frustrated, he struggled with his books and walked past behind Lily, glancing over her work quickly. Immediately he saw something wrong.

"Uh, excuse me Lily, but I couldn't help noticing that you've mistaken Monkshood with Foxglove…" he murmured behind Lily. She looked behind her in surprise.

"Oh, hello Sev…I…"

"Sorry, I didn't want to disturb you." Snape looked down, somewhat embarrassed.

"No, don't worry. I didn't expect anyone behind me, that's all…that's a lot of books there."

"Yeah, I'm brushing up on my Charms." Snape smiled weakly. Lily bent her head sideways and read one of the titles on the spines.

"_I'll Charm You Out Of Your Pants: Sexual Protection for Young Wizards and Witches._.." her mouth twitched. Snape's world suddenly crumbled. From somewhere, he heard muffled sniggers, but no one was to be seen.

"Not for me…Regulus has decided to be sexually active…puberty can do strange things to a young boy's mind." He said calmly, even though his insides were twisting in embarrassment and he could feel his cheeks flush. Lily nodded sagely, even though her eyes watered with contained mirth.

"So, you were saying something about Foxgloves?" she continued. Snape sighed with relief.

"Yes, I couldn't help noticing that you've mixed up Foxgloves with Monkshood, even though they are nothing alike…" he said, sitting beside her and pointing out her errors. He read through her essay thoroughly, while Lily listened attentively.

"Overall, I think it's very good…"he paused, glancing back at the parchment, "why do you use green ink to write with?"

Lily blushed, "It's my favourite colour."

"Oh, really? Perhaps you should've been in Slytherin, then." He smirked slyly.

"No, no. If I wanted to be in Slytherin, it would've only been to wear the colour in house matches…no offence or anything." She shook her head.

"None taken…green is not particularly my favourite colour."

"Then what is?" she said surprised.

"Black." He nodded. Lily laughed.

"Black isn't a colour-"

"It's my favourite _shade_ then." Snape rolled his eyes.

"So I'll expect you to wear black at the Christmas Ball then?" she asked innocently.

"Dark grey actually…" he said.

"Hmmmm," she frowned, "but that _shade_ is so- _severe._"

"Aren't I severe?"

"Well, I would be lying to say that you weren't…but I don't think dark grey would suit you…" she hummed, leaning back to study his features. Snape suddenly blushed, a very un-Severus action. The only people to fuss over his clothes were his mother and Ama.

"Don't say any bright colours. Have you seen me in yellow?" he asked.

"I can't say I have. No I don't think any bright colour would suit you. Deep purple might, or red; a really deep rusty red. Green and blue definitely will…black suits anyone, but it depends how you wear it." she tapped the back of her wand on her lips. The bell rang over the school grounds.

"I'm sorry Sev, but I have to meet the other prefects now. I'll catch you around…and tell Regulus to do his own dirty work." She smiled, gathering her books and essay. Snape waved silently goodbye, watching her walk gracefully out of the door.

He looked down at the pile of Charms books despondently. He came so close to making the worst fool out of himself. This was a dramatic improvement to his previous way of life; but the dragon of desire had suddenly risen inside him again, wanting more. But he couldn't touch her, he withered in that golden radiance that poured off her like waves of heat.

And he wasn't the only one who desired her…if James Potter even caught a scent that he was interested in Lily, all hell would break loose.

"_Protego!_" he yelled as a curse hurtled towards him and James was suddenly exposed from under his invisibility cloak. He knew that James was lurking in the library even since he sat down with Ama; his presence was just as pronounced as Lily's and he didn't need his sight to know that he was there.

After Snape had finished layering multiple hexes on James and stuffed him in a bookcase, he walked back over to Ama's table. Ama had left, and had taken everything except her school bag. Shrugging, he picked it up with his own things and walked to Transfiguration, hoping to catch up with her there.

* * *

TBC... 


	6. Diary Evasion

Sigh...yep, I've replaced every single chapter except for one...sigh.

Don't own any of JKR's stuff.

* * *

Ama wasn't at Transfiguration either, not that it was her first time she was absent. Transfiguration wasn't her strongest subject, but he felt quite lonely without her, and it didn't help that Sirius tried to transfigure his shoes into fluffy duck slippers. From what he had heard, listening to their hushed whispers and the casual gossip of the school, Sirius and James skipped their detention using a series of pranks that sent most of the teachers on a wild goose chase, ensuring wrath of Professor McGonagall.

The professor looked rather stiffer than usual, and looked at everyone with a withered glare. She hated to supervise detentions just as much as the students had to take them, and a week of detentions bothered her more than James or Sirius.

"Mr Snape, you're not concentrating hard enough." She said curtly. Snape shrugged and his rusty tin can turned into a rusty clock. He wasn't concentrating, that was true; his mind was with Lily and that godforsaken book…he had been so close to becoming the most laughed at student at school. Then he noted grimly, that he already was the most laughed at student at school.

As James entered the room with anger boiling in his wake, Snape's thoughts turned to his dress robes. Lily didn't like dark grey, and thought darker _colours_ suited him better than shades. As he dodged the occasional jinx from behind, he thought of what he might look like with dark red robes or blue ones. He might need to go to Hogsmeade the next weekend to purchase new robes. At the end of the class, he looked at the metallic clock sitting in front of him despondently…he had realised that he had no money for clothes.

The bell rang for the end of class and Snape silently left the room, with Ama's bag flung over his shoulder. As he reached the dormitory, he saw no sign of Ama's dark head bouncing along in the distance. Once inside the Slytherin common room, he quickly took a table and plonked Ama's bag onto it. A book fell out of the open flap and dropped loudly to the floor. It was a beautiful book: he could feel the soft velvet cover in the dim light of the common room and the crisp white pages were smooth and strong. Absently he opened to a page, wondering why Ama would have such a beautiful book in her unkempt bag:

_4th October 1975_

_I had Arithimancy today (as I usually do on a Wednesday afternoon) and we were looking up compatibility with people using names and birthdates. I find out that Sev and I have the same number: we're both passionate and fall easily into love and obsession…and we tend to keep grudges. That's kinda true, at least for Sevy, he's a Capricorn, and the sign has the same characteristics as his birth number. We're supposed to be soul mates as I'm a Cancer. Well apparently anyway. Here's hoping…_

Snape felt both curious and slightly horrified that he had stumbled onto her diary. He also wondered why he had never seen the book before, if she carried it around with her all the time. Skipping a few pages, he read an entry nearer to the present:

_1st November 1975_

_I can't keep my eyes off him. He walks around with a walk that says he hates the world; yet when he smiles at me, it is only for me. It is like the sun bursting through…I can't explain it. It's not the smile itself, but the facial expression. It's not a smirk, a leer, a mock (his favourite) but a genuine happy smile. It's the only thing worth being here for. But he doesn't want me._

_I know I'm pretty. Men talking to my chest and checking me out is a big enough hint; but why does he not look at me like that? I don't love his body; I love him as a person. How can I say this to him? I can barely speak to him about my day…but, he holds me like I'm some kind of gem. Hell, Sev. I love you._

Snape wasn't surprised. He knew that she liked him ever since she first opened her mind to him. But he felt emotion filling up inside him like a bittersweet liquid. He felt that he was betraying her, with every thought dedicated to Lily. Amaryllis had always been a friend, albeit a beautiful dark friend. It was true that he held her like a gem…she was more like a snowflake: pretty, delicate, fragile and would melt if anyone burned or touched her; but their emotional and physical relationship did not extend any further beyond the curtains on his four-poster bed. He closed the book, not wishing to read any more. Massaging the front cover absently, he looked up finding Ama looking down at him with horror spreading across her face.

For several agonising seconds, he felt every nerve in his body set alight by her distraught stare. Then weeping, she snatched the book from his hands and ran towards her dormitory.

"Ama, wait!" he said, raising her hand to stop her, but she had ran into her room without even looking back. The few Slytherins in the common room looked at him confused as he stood there alone, looking at the doors in despair.

* * *

TBC 


	7. Avery Small Truth

Just a filler chapter...rather fluffy. Have no idea what Avery looks like, and he's in the same year as Snape.

Don't own Harry Potter; JKR does.

* * *

Darkness descended on Hogwarts, and the lake shone under a slender sickle moon. Snape, however saw none of this, instead he was lying on his four-poster bed consumed by his own thoughts. The world seemed to be in upheaval around him: Amaryllis had disowned him, not even acknowledging his presence at the Slytherin table at breakfast that morning; Lily struck up a conversation with him for no apparent reason after Potions (whereupon Professor Slughorn gave him a slight wink and Snape endured a triple hexing that day from Potter); and his mind turning constantly to what Lupin was worried about those few days ago.

He got up out of bed and went to the basin to wash his face; he felt unbelievably tired, yet could not get to sleep. Somewhere to his right, Avery groaned from his bed.

"Severus…what the fuck are you doing out of bed?" his head rolling out of the curtains. Snape turned to look at the student's face, slightly illuminated from the liquid ceiling above him (Slytherin house was located under the lake, and the dormitory roofs were enchanted to open up to the lake)

"Merely washing my face." Snape replied, pulling dark strands of hair behind his ears. Avery laughed softly.

"Something is on your mind Sev; you never wash your face unless something is bugging you. No offence or anything." Avery swivelled out of his bed and grabbed his blue robe. Snape shrugged, he didn't feel like talking too much that night and wasn't in the mood to hex anyone.

"It's Littlechild, isn't it?" he asked. He looked at Snape intently, trying to see any clue hidden in that cold silent face. All he received was a cold silent stare.

"Perhaps," Snape said sharply, "it could be something completely different; never jump to conclusions, Avery."

"No, no, perhaps I shouldn't. But I'm more observant than you think; Littlechild is your best friend, and I know what happened last night. I was there." Avery looked at him shrewdly, "Don't get so hooked up by it; it will calm down soon. Knowing Amaryllis, she'll forgive you in a few days."

"Perhaps," Snape sighed, but relaxing a little. Avery had spoken a little grain of truth, "yeah, perhaps you're right."

"See? Now, go to sleep. It's impossible to sleep when you're pacing, and it shits me up the wall sometimes; you do it often. Too often, I might add." Avery smiled, placing a careful arm around Snape. Snape slowly moved away from the close body contact.

"Uh, yes. Thanks Avery." He said, slipping under his own bed covers. Watching the enchanted ceiling ripple and glow from the pale moon, he thought about Ama. It was nearly impossible to believe that she loved him; she was his friend, and they both held romantic visions that seemed impossible to achieve.

Then he felt his heart catch; he suddenly realised how much he actually cared about Littlechild. He didn't know how to place his feelings for her.

_I love her_ he thought_ I love her and care for her. But I can never touch her…she can never touch me. It doesn't matter how close we are, we will never connect. We could be in the same body and never connect, no matter how much we desired it._

His eyes began to sting, and he felt his face in surprise. A trickle of a tear had slid down the side of his face as he had lain down. It disappeared into the roots of his hair, but he could feel the path of the tear as if it had been traced in fire. He had never cried a pure emotional tear since he was five; and he felt ashamed and angry to think that he had cried over a girl.

He burrowed into his bed sheets harder, trying hard not to think of Ama, but one question was harder to ignore, and refused to budge from his brain.

_Why do I care…so much?_

* * *

Snape does love Ama, but in a way a man loves his mother or sister. I guess he feels guilty that he cannot return her love for him.

Was reading Chamber of Secrets today and found the history of the Vanishing Cabinet, the oneDraco used in the HBP.

Was broken by Peeves after being persuaded to by Nearly Headless Nick when Harry was in Filch's office.

Harry hid in its "Partner" when in 'Bourges and Bourkes' atKnockturn Alley. Why didn't Harry vanish? Because he didn't fully close it when hiding in it. It was also Draco's first contact with the cabinet.

Moreover, Fred and George use it to stuff Montague inside (everyone knows that story) and in the end, the cabinet was one of the factors leading to Dumbledore's death (well if I've spoiled it for you, I'm sorry; by why are you reading fanfiction created after the HBP?)

So my theory goes: Nearly Headless Nick ultimately killed Dumbledore...well, if we take it any further back Harry killed him for being in the wrong place at the wrong time; or Oliver Wood did for Quidditch practice; or McGonagall did for allowing Harry on the team; etc etc.

Oh well, just some ramblings...better get back to my essay otherwise my English teacher will give me "The Silent Treatment", his worst form of punishment after extra long notes.


	8. Forgiveness in the Tunnel

Hello once again. Thanks for all the reviews! Not much to talk about today, except that we have a motivational speaker coming to our school. We met him earlier in the year, and some of the things he saysare reallycorny. well, some of the things we have to do is bounce on the spot "center our goals" and say "YES!" really loudly. I don't know about whatyou think, but it is kinda lame

Don't own any HP characters. JKR does.

* * *

The next morning Snape walked down the corridor quickly, trying to catch up to the long dark hair of Ama. He was quite surprised that she could walk this fast, but he suspected that Ama knew she was being tracked. She walked around the corner, and Snape followed shortly behind. Quite suddenly it seemed that she had evaporated, as the corridor was quite empty of any student.

"Ama! Amaryllis! Where are you?" he called down the corridor. He knew nothing could Apparate or Disapparate within school grounds, and she had to be somewhere down the corridor. He looked behind the tapestry nearby and noticed that it had been closed with a moderate sticking charm.

"Ama, I know you're down there." He called in his most friendly voice, which actually sounded rather creepy. Putting his ear to the tapestry he heard running footsteps and a dry sob. Wrenching back the tapestry with all his strength, breaking the charm, he followed her, his dark hair flowing behind him in his effort to catch up.

If he could do one thing in his life, it was ability to run very fast. He managed to catch up to Ama very quickly. He grabbed her wrist and there was a very brief struggle.

"Let go of me Sev!" she yelled, fighting off his hands which had clamped on both wrists; his grip was too strong.

"I need to talk to you!" he gritted, trying to dodge long sharp nails.

"You could've asked!" she screeched.

"I tried, but you kept running away. It's impossible to talk to someone who keeps disappearing when you set eyes on them." He added.

"Let go of me!" she growled again, her dark eyes flashing.

"Only if you promise to stay." He said, slowly releasing her arms. She stayed but even Snape could tell that she wanted to run away, "I've come to tell you that I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what? Enjoying yourself?" she asked scathingly. Snape shook his head fervently.

"No, I did not enjoy it. I'm still not enjoying it." he said, tight-lipped.

"Then why did you read it?" she yelled, tears dripping down her cheek.

"I didn't know you had a diary, when I opened it…I couldn't stop reading."

"So you did enjoy it!" she hissed.

"No; but given a choice, I still would have read it."

"But, why?"

"If my diary was lying in full view of you, would you read it?" he asked. She looked down ashamed; he just had to look in her face to know the answer.

"You hate me, don't you?" she asked miserably to the floor. His face softened.

"No, Ama. I never hated you, and I never will. What hurts me more is that you're not talking to me." He said softly. She looked up with bittersweet joy in her eyes, and then she looked down again, weeping.

"Y-you like Lily Evans though, don't you? You w-were talking to her like she was some kind of goddess in the library. You had a look on your face that everyone one will figure out; even her," She sobbed. Snape stepped back, abashed. He thought that he had covered his actions up very well, "I ran away yesterday when I saw you with her. Can't you tell she's using you Sev? To gain popularity? Once she's Head Girl, she'll hurt you Sev." She continued, her face wet with tears.

"She won't." Snape said harshly, "She isn't one to hurt people deliberately. She wasn't using me; she's not in Slytherin."

"How can you tell she won't hurt you?" she whispered, "she will kill you eventually Sev, though possibly not through cruelty." She covered her head with her hands. They were silent in the dark, the scrape of many chairs and the thunder of feet seemed to sound very far away.

"I did not come to find you to talk about Lily." Snape said darkly, "I had come to ask for your forgiveness. Do I have it, or should I walk away and leave you?" after a very tense pause, Ama walked to him and embraced him. He held himself stiffly, then softened and wrapped his arms around her.

"Don't ever leave me Sevy." She said weakly.

"No, I won't. I'd care too much." He said resting his cheek on her dark hair.

* * *

I'm eventually getting there! just hang on! 


	9. Dresses and Robes

I'm back! Had a hard time trying to write this chapter...had some writer's block. For those of you who were wondering, Ama is definitely not a Mary-Sue. I couldn't be as cute as her, even if I tried.

Don't Own any recognisable character. I own Ama though.

I am now absolutely addicted to HP-Lexicon

* * *

The heavy snows of winter had finally set in and the last Hogsmeade trip before the Christmas holidays was coming closer. Snape paced the corridors despondently with Ama walking lightly beside him, nattering happily away. He had asked Ama wether she had any galleons that she could lend him, but to his dismay, she had nothing to give him. Her father had short arms and long pockets, so to speak.

He loathed asking any other student for money, but as the day approached, he finally cornered Regulus Black. He walked up to him in the common room and saluted him.

"Hello Regulus." He said, nodding quickly.

"Hello Sev, what's up?"

"I've come to ask you for a favour." He said, sitting beside him. Regulus raised his eyebrow, looking extraordinary like his older brother.

"Yeah, sure. What is it?"

"In the short of it, I need some money." He said.

"You? I thought you had some."

"Yes, I _had_ some, except I spent it. Mother is not lending me any more this year…she says I'm a big spender. And, frankly, I'm inclined to agree with her." Snape gritted. Regulus nodded and dipped into his pockets, drawing out several Galleons.

"Thank you, Regulus." Snape said, holding out an eager hand. Regulus suddenly withdrew his hand with the coins.

"Wait one second." He said, "Just what are you going to buy with my money?" he fixed his stone grey eye on Snape.

"I need to by some…uh…dress robes." Snape sighed. Regulus dropped his coins in surprise. Snape waved his wand and collected them back up.

"D-Dress robes? I'm sorry Sev, but you're not the type to go out and say 'I'm going to buy clothes'." he smirked. Snape didn't.

"What did you expect me to buy?" he asked coldly.

"Well, a book or potion materials, I guess. Anyway, are you going to pay me back?"

"Perhaps; I'll see what my mother says." he said, opening out his palm again. Regulus still kept the coins tightly in his fist. _Curses, _Snape thought _You can't haggle with a Slytherin for money._

"Knowing you, Severus, it is entirely possible that you would never pay me back. I want to be paid back in _services_." Regulus grinned handsomely.

"What kind of services?"

"Oh, helping me with my homework: tutoring me, writing notes…looking into my essays, that sort of thing."

"I'm not a teacher." Snape said coldly.

"Take the offer, or leave it Sev." He stared blankly.

"Fine. For how long am I to tutor you?" Snape sighed, brushing back his dark hair. Regulus leaned back into his chair, drumming his fingers together.

"Perhaps a fortnight or more. I am giving you thirteen Galleons, eleven sickles; I expect that tutorials cost around that much?" he said, depositing the coins in Snape's hand. Snape clenched his fist over them and murmured his thanks, walking away triumphantly.

………………….

………………….

Snape stood outside Glad Rags Wizard Wear in Hogsmeade with Ama. A look of utter contempt was chiselled into his face. Ama rolled her eyes and grabbed his wrist.

"Come on, Sevy. We've discussed this before: clothes aren't going to hurt you." She said cheerfully, dragging the reluctant Snape behind her. The doorbell jingled happily enough to grate on his ears, and a young curvy witch stepped out from behind the counter with a wide smile.

"Welcome! Is there anything I can help you with?" she asked. Ama nodded quickly.

"My friend here is looking for some dress robes."

"Ah, we have all that you are looking for, I hope. Fitted perfectly too; is there any type of colour you are looking for?" the smiling witch said to Snape.

"Any colour, not too bright." He said shortly, thrusting his hands into his pockets. The witch nodded and selected a few items from the hangers. Naturally, Snape hated them all, but allowed Ama to browse through them and select ones for him to try on.

As he was getting changed, he heard several people come in. The witch greeted four young men.

"Welcome! Is there anything I can help you with?"

"Yeah, three pairs of socks for me; two shirts for Remus over here and I believe James needs some new shoes. Is that right Prongsie?" Sirius said, gruffly. Snape decided that it wasn't a good time to come out of the change room, instead, busied himself with a deep green robe.

"Yep, size 12." James said gruffly. The witch murmured her agreement and rummaged through assortments of clothes.

"Are you going to the Slughorn's Ball next week?" James asked one of them.

"Yeah, but I'm not looking forward to it," Remus said bitterly, "It'll be no fun without you guys (yes, miss, those will do)."

"Keep a lookout for Lily for me. Make sure she doesn't hang around any…dirty people." James said quietly. Snape knew almost immediately that they were talking about him; he cast aside a suit of pale lilac in disgust.

"Will do. Hey, what's on your socks Padfoot?"

"Stars. They don't have any with little puppies on them." Sirius sighed. Snape had to bite his lip down hard to stop himself from giggling.

"Puppies, Sirius?" Remus smirked.

"Yeah, girls go gaga over a tough guy with a little bit of sensitivity." Sirius laughed.

"God, you're sounding like Prongsie." Remus sighed.

"Hurry up James! We don't have all day!" Sirius shouted softly.

"Yeah, one moment.I've found what I'm looking for."

"They're the same as last time." Peter said.

"Do you expect me to change my style?" James said gruffly.

"Well, no. But that's the third pair of Quidditch shoes you've gotten." He replied. There were sounds of payment, and the four troublemakers walked out of the shop with a merry jingle.

"Nearly finished Sevy?" Ama called. Snape sighed and walked out of the room. Ama squealed in delight.

"They're perfect!"

"But, this is only my third set." He protested. Ama shook her head.

"Nup, we _have_ to get you this pair." Ama clapped delightedly, "With some cleaning up, you're going to look stunning!" Snape sucked his teeth and walked back inside the changing room. As he walked out again, covered in his usual black robes, Ama was nowhere to be seen.

"Ama?" he called.

"Yeah, I'm here." She said in the cubicle beside him, "I just found a nice dress. One second." She opened the door and Snape audibly gasped. She was dressed in the deepest purple, yet everything about the dress highlighted her lithe body and beautiful features. Dark hair cascaded down her back and her eyes seemed to twinkle even more than usual.

"Come to the ball with me." Snape said silkily. Ama looked up in surprise, and then flushed.

"No, Sev. I told you I can't." Snape could see a tear already forming at the end of an eyelash, "but, I gather you like the dress?"

"Yes," he said, disappointed, "It's wonderful."

She went back inside and he paid for his clothes. As he waited outside the shop, Ama came out empty handed.

"Where's the dress?" he asked.

"I couldn't afford it; but what I can afford is some Butterbeers. Do you want to come?" she smiled, jangling a small purse beside her.

"Yes. Certainly." Snape smirked, the image of her in the purple dress burned painfully to the back of his mind, as they walked up the snow-filled street.

* * *

What's the colour of Snape's robe, I hear you say?

It's a surprise! You'll have to wait and see! mwahahahahahaaa!


	10. Transformation

Ah, A very short chapter! I'll reveal what Snape wears later...just for now, you'll have to hold on for a while. I might not be updating for some time...my final year is pretty hectic and I've got exams soon! NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo!

Don't own HP stuff, JKR does

* * *

Under the green glow of the lake, reflected in the enchanted ceiling of the Slytherin dormitories, young Severus Snape opened his private trunk, collecting his precious bottles of potion. He held them up to the greenish light, remarking to himself how much they reminded him of Lily's eyes.

"Sev, are you going to take _all_ those potions?" Regulus remarked, sitting cross-legged on Avery's bed. Avery himself was drying his hair with his wand after a quick shower, and was admiring the effects in the mirror.

"Yes." Snape replied, taking the light blue bottle of Au Claire out first.

"Do you know things called _side effects_ if too many are taken at one time?" Regulus pointed out. He wasn't going to the Christmas Ball and was dressed in light blue pyjamas and brown slippers.

"Yes, I know very well. But, if I do this in the right order, there will be no side effects," he unscrewed the bottle, drinking all in one gulp.

"Oh, I can't wait to see this," Regulus smiled, crossing his arms gleefully. Snape felt his skin prickle hot then cold and regarded the effects in the mirror, "Looking better already, Sev." Snape smiled coldly, and then unscrewed another deep blue bottle.

"Tooth Whitener." He answered Regulus' unvoiced question. A few seconds later his teeth gleamed whitely. With each potion, he had another transformation and by the end of it, even some second years had come in and sat on the beds in wonder, looking at a (at least temporarily) transformed Snape.

"What?" Snape asked irritably, and then raised his wand, "Piss off. I'm trying to get changed here." Everyone scampered off quickly, not needing to be told twice. He reached for his robes and slipped them on. Then he looked into the mirror, stunned at what he saw.

"Wow. I'm…actually quite good looking for once." He laughed nervously, straightening his coat. With one final touch, he gathered the loose strands of his hair and tied his dark hair into a loose ponytail. There was a timid knock at the door.

"Come in," he said, and there was a small gasp of surprise. He turned around and saw Ama leaning on the doorframe with wonder in her eyes.

"It's better than I imagined." She laughed. She was already dressed for bed, her dark hair drifted around her like a mist. Snape averted his eyes from the undisguised affection swimming in her eyes.

"Thank you Ama." He smiled warmly. She walked over and planted a kiss firmly on his lips. For a brief second, he kissed her back; he wanted to bring her to the Christmas Ball. He wanted to be lost in the dark mist of her hair. But something held him back, something made him stop the kiss and look in Ama with terrified confusion. Ama smiled back, albeit with confusion dripping with heartbreak.

"Good luck," she sighed; she turned on her bare foot and left the dormitory, leaving his heart twisting inside.


	11. The Christmas Ball

I know the last chapter was short, but I've made up for it! The Christmas ball is here! And the plot still continues after this...yay!

* * *

Remus Lupin lingered near the punch bowl, bored witless and began to pick the lint off his dark blue waistcoat. He regretted even setting foot into this party, watching people chatter inanely, admiring each other's clothes, ignoring him completely.

_If James or Sirius were here, something would've exploded or set loose by now_ he regarded his watch disdainfully. He caught a familiar scent and he turned his gold eyes towards the door and Lily Evans ghosted through.

_Wow, if James caught the sight of her now…god knows what would happen_ he thought. Lily was dressed in the deepest green velvet dress, with a single amber pendant around her neck with matching earrings. Her deep red hair cascaded in wavy locks down her back. Lupin noticed Slughorn greeting her warmly and introduced her to some important people he happened to meet. He also noticed her polite smile and the way she complimented others and she melted into the crowd. Before long, she came up to Lupin and drew some punch.

"Some party." She smirked at Lupin, noticing his boredom.

"Fantastic, absolute genius. Anyway, you look great." He smiled, grabbing the punch she offered him. Judging from Professor Slughorn's voice, someone important had come in, because there were laughter and voices near the door.

"What have you been up to lately?" she asked, sipping her punch.

"Nothing much; dreading this party, doing homework. You?" he replied as some handsome dark youth drew some punch beside them.

"The same." She said. She glanced at the tanned youth smiling at her, then did a double take.

"Severus?" she gasped. Lupin promptly dropped his punch in amazement. Snape had undergone a dramatic change: he was dressed in deep dark blood-red robes made of something like heavy velvet, trimmed with black and gold. His clean tan skin and white teeth complimented his dark hair and eyes, even his hooked nose seemed dignified, even handsome.

"You look beautiful Lily. Green, I see." He smiled warmly. Lupin didn't even know Snape could even smile warmly.

"Wow, you look…fantastic," she shrugged, totally lost for words, "It looks as if we've swapped houses." She giggled. Lupin frowned cleaning up his dropped punch.

"Lupin," Snape greeted with a nod.

"Snape," Lupin nodded civilly. He noticed Slughorn approach from the corner of his eye.

"Wonderful! Glad you three could show up. Doesn't Lily look fantastic tonight Severus? I must add, you're looking quite fantastic yourself, how did you do it?" Slughorn boomed, grinning at all three of them.

"Oh, nothing a little bit of Au Claire couldn't fix." He smirked slyly at Lupin, who shuffled guiltily on the spot.

"Fantastic, fantastic! Come Remus, I just have to introduce you to Alastair Moody, he's truly a gifted Auror and I know you're interested in the Defence Against the Dark Arts." He said and led Lupin away. Lupin waved to Lily as he walked with the professor. Lily sucked her lips in the sudden awkward pause.

"Has Slughorn introduced you to anyone?" she asked. Snape nodded.

"Libatius Borage…It's quite funny actually, because I disagree with some of the methods in his textbook. I had to physically remove myself to avoid any confrontations." He said jovially.

"Is he really here? What's wrong with his methods?" she asked. Their conversation was going smoothly and they walked together to the balcony. When they paused, they looked at the Hogwart's grounds, admiring the shimmering white snow and the clear dark night.

"It's pretty isn't it?" she said, leaning on the stone wall. He looked at her softly.

"So are you." He said quickly. She looked at him in surprise, "I mean, uh, you are very pretty tonight. Well, you're always pretty, but especially pretty tonight; because, because…hey what's in this punch?" he blurted nervously, awkwardly changing the subject. Lily laughed, the light sparkling off her amber necklace as she moved. Snape flushed.

"Has anyone told you that you can be a real gentleman when you want to?" she smiled.

"Well, no. I do believe that you're the first person to tell me anything like that." He said awkwardly. Inside, the music changed to a haunting sweet harmony and the atmosphere seemed to grow alluring. Lily sighed.

"That's one of my favourite songs." She smiled. Snape turned to her slowly.

"Would you like to dance?" he asked her smoothly. Snape realised that in the past few weeks that he had surprised himself on many levels, but this act was by far the most surprising and frightening in his life to date. Lily looked at him with eyes that glowed green in the light cast by fairies.

"I'll be delighted." She smiled, offering her hand. He took her small delicate hand within his strong long-fingered one and led her to the dance floor. The floor wasn't empty, but the pair managed to stand out. But Snape ignored the few stares in their direction; all he cared about were her deep green eyes. Standing in the fafrmal dancing position, Snape tried hard not to think about his hand on her hip, and they started what looked like a slow elaborate foxtrot.

"Lack of co-ordination, my foot." She smiled as they twirled around the dance floor, "when did you learn to dance?"

"My mother taught me…when I was younger." He said with a small sardonic smile.

"Are there any other little cultured secrets that you have, that you need to tell me about?" she smiled back, rocking slowly with the music.

"Such as?"

"Oh, you know, singing, playing a musical instrument, painting pictures, that sort of thing." She asked, pausing halfway through to complete a turn.

"I can play an instrument; I've always loved to play the piano. I've been taught how to sing, but I'll never say I can." He smirked.

"You'll have to show me sometime." Snape nearly dropped her in the middle of a particularly hard move, but they executed it perfectly.

"Perhaps," he said. There was a pause in the conversation as the tempo of the music slowed. They moved towards the balcony again, drifting with the music.

"Lily."

"Sev." They said together, "you go first." Lily blushed.

"Oh…it's nothing."

"No, tell me Sev."

"I was going to say: I meant what I said back then. You are very pretty." For the first time in his short lifespan, he broke eye contact during a conversation. He did not want to look at her reaction. A small delicate hand touched his face very gently.

"Thank you, Sev. I wanted to say, you look very handsome tonight." She whispered into his ear. He looked at her surprised, then reached out and touched her smooth cheek.

"Actually, when I think about it, you're not pretty: you're beautiful." He murmured, their faces drawing close together. The kiss was delicate, like two butterflies colliding together in flight, yet as the kiss grew deeper, Snape found his whole body tingling. His lips were alight with fire, and his heart was being assailed by thorns made from rose-petals: soft and loving, yet they ripped his soul apart.

Standing alone, watching the pair of mismatched dancers kiss in the fairy-illuminated night, was Remus Lupin, his heart alight with jealously, frustration, anger and sorrow.

_What will I tell James, even if _I_ can't handle this?_

* * *

Yesssssssss! Remus also likes Lily! JKR says that Lupin did care a lot for Lily, but I won't interfere the story with a new subplot...I've got too much to write about ;)

Do you like his dress robes? I do! Any woman would fall of a tall, dark, cultured,tanned guy. Even if his nose is big!


	12. Ama's Dreadful Morning After

Here we go again! It's going to be slower for me when it comes to updating, considering I'm going to be studying for my exams. Anyway, I half dreaded writing this chapter, but it turned out alright. I have a few fans now, which is good. Hello Kitala, SweetFlava, ambermay, littlemissgwendoline and Jazo and those others who have reviewed (sorry, can't remember your names right now, but thanx anyway)

The two guys who appear later in this chapter are two enemies of mine. They are truly thugs and deserve to be Death-Eaters-2-Be. Actually, they are one half of a group I call "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse", for obvious reasons.

Don't own any recognisable characters. But I own Ama, and she's so cute.

* * *

Ama woke up to the loud banging of students moving their bags and getting ready for the trip back to London.

"Oi! Ickle Ama! Get your ass out of bed!" Bellatrix Black screamed at her from the doorway, "The train is moving soon, so get going!"

With a yelp, she sprung out of bed, startling her grey cat Mystery.

"Oh God, Myst, we're going to be late!" she said to her cat, grabbing the few clothes under her bed and shoving them into her trunk. She remembered slowly of the night before, and she wanted to crawl back under her bed covers.

_The Christmas Ball was last night,_ she groaned, slipping down the side of her bed with her head in her hands, _I wonder if Sevy-dear has achieved his life-long ambition of de-flowering Miss Lily goody-so-not-a-virgin-two-shoes Evans last night_ she gritted her teeth. She couldn't bear to think of that fawning red-head lolling about in the arms of her best friend and (needless to say) _her_ man. Getting up, she threw the rest of her clothes messily in her trunk and got changed. She'll be late for breakfast if she didn't hurry up, but to look in Sev's face sooner rather than later made her skin crawl.

Pulling her jumper over her head, picking up her cat and trunk, she walked out of the dormitory to find the common room nearly deserted; deserted of any form of Severus at least. She left the common room and brooded all the way to the Great Hall where many people were already leaving.

"'Urry up yeh lot!" roared the Game Keeper's Assistant, Hagrid, "the carriages are ready t' go! Any one who doesn' come now will 'ave t' sweat it ou' 'ere for Christmas!" Ama cursed fluently under her breath. She hated going without breakfast. Trotting quickly to the door, she craned her neck for any sign of Snape's dark head. She saw nothing, just the multitudes of students marching across the blinding white snow. She was bundled into a carriage by herself, hoping she could see Severus on the train. The cat just looked at her with knowing eyes and purred contently in her lap.

"Oh, Myst, am I fooling myself?" she sighed, stroking behind his ear. Myst continued to purr contently.

Finding a compartment on the train was difficult. She still didn't see Snape but was jostled about the train until Regulus Black stuck out his head from a compartment.

"Ama!" he cried, as the train began to take off, "Come in here with us!" she shrugged and heaved her stuff inside. The people inside were from Snape's usual group: Regulus, Avery, Travis D, James B and a blonde First Year they'd recently taken under their wing. She sat down nervously between them. Avery turned to her as the others joined in a conversation regarding Quidditch

"Have you seen Sev anywhere?" he asked seriously. Ama shook her head.

"Not since last night." She said; Regulus turned to them, his blue eyes flashing with interest.

"Avery, tell us what happened last night. You were there."

"Well, there were a few things happening, but I hardly saw them. Slughorn set me up with some guy from Gringotts. For one thing, our dear friend Severus Snape managed to hook up with _the_ most unachievable girl in the school-" Ama's heart sank.

"Bellatrix Black?" the blonde boy said hopefully. Everyone turned to him with scathing looks.

"No. Gilderoy, _Lily Evans_." Avery sighed wearily. Her heart dropped right through her stomach.

"Phsst, what the hell is Snape doing with a Mudblood anyway?" James B shrugged, flapping his long thin hands.

"Virgin territory waited to be explored." Travis guffawed trollishly, running a meaty hand through his short black hair. Regulus looked at him with disgust.

"I don't think Sev thought her as a conquest…though he did say to me that the girls in the school were either porky or Mudbloods." Regulus mused. Ama's heart had fallen right through the floor of the Hogwart's Express and lay flopping on the tracks somewhere behind them.

"Did he really say that?" she asked. Regulus looked at her suddenly, realising suddenly that she was there.

"Oh, Ama! Jesus, I forgot. Sorry." He said apologetically.

"Sorry for what?" Gilderoy asked innocently. Regulus cuffed him around the head. Travis leaned in interested.

"Yeah, what are you sorry for?" he asked, his dark eyes glittering mercilessly.

"Ama is the only pureblood that isn't porky." Avery said smoothly, his light brown eyes glittering back. Ama knew very well that Avery and Regulus knew of her unrequited love for Snape, and was quite relieved that they did not pass on this information to the thuggish boy.

"Ama is a pureblood?" Gilderoy asked again. Avery buried his head in his hands as tears began to show in Ama's eyes.

"Better to shut your mouth and look like a fool, than open your mouth and prove it!" Regulus said dangerously. Gilderoy looked confused, receiving another cuff from Regulus.

"Where is Snape anyway?" James asked Avery, brushing back his nondescript brown hair needlessly. Avery shrugged.

"He was in the dormitory when I got back last night…I had a fair bit of punch last night and went on a walk with fair Felicia. I had no idea when I came back last night." He said as Ama calmed herself down.

"Ooooohhh, you went with Felicia? What happened?" James asked, smiling savagely. Avery was relieved to change the subject, and so was Ama. Later in the journey, she swapped seats with Gilderoy to gaze out the window with her cat sleeping contently in her lap. She watched the wild countryside turn into farms and then eventually into suburbs. She wondered how the muggles never saw the scarlet engine puffing with its magical smoke and cargo; she supposed the entire line was in a different time-space like platform 9 ¾…pondering this, she fell asleep.

Sometime later, Snape ghosted into the room, dressed in his muggle clothes of black trousers and bomber jacket. The effects of the potions last night had not worn off and he looked like a different person. The boys greeted him quietly, signalling him to be quiet because of the sleeping girl.

"Sev, you dog!" Regulus grinned, sticking his thumbs up. Snape didn't return the smile, but his dark eyes were less cold

"Is Ama asleep?" he asked.

"Yes, she drifted off not long ago. Where have you been?" Avery asked warily.

"I've been with Lily…and a few of her friends. She thought it might be nice to hang out together for a while." He smirked. Travis whistled his amazement, while James gave him a withered look.

"Are you going to see her over the break?" Regulus asked.

Snape nodded slowly, "New Year's Eve party. She's invited me along."

"Aren't you worried that Potter and my brother are going to kill you once they find out?" Regulus asked, frowning.

"They've already found out. I heard Potter's scream of rage at breakfast this morning. I've been dodging them all since then…they've cursed me a few times too." Snape said softly.

"I don't see any curse marks." Avery commented, looking him up and down.

"You don't want to. I've evaded the little bastards for over an hour now…they've been looking for the greasy-haired-git Snape, instead of currently-Lily's-tanned-partner Snape." He grinned slyly.

"I saw Lupin's reaction last night when you came in all dressed up," Avery chuckled, "I should've brought a camera, ho ho ho, he was not happy!" The train was slowing down gradually and stopped.

"I've got to get my belongings…Regulus, can you tell Ama that I'll contact her later tonight, once she wakes up? Goodbye everyone." And he ghosted out of the compartment without another word. In the rush to grab their things, Regulus walked over and gently shook Ama awake.

"Mmmm? Wha-?" she said, shaking the sleep from her head.

"We're at the station now…Sev said that he'll contact you later tonight. I'll see you when I see you." He said and pulled his trunk away, waving a friendly goodbye. She buried her head in her hands and sighed. Silently she gathered her things and left the train. Pulling out some muggle money, she walked out of the station and grabbed a bus heading towards Hagley Park.

Her family had lived in inner London for generations, and even she was mildly surprised that no muggle had ever accused them of witchcraft after all that time. It was a long bus ride, and it was hard to ignore the stares at her and her trunk with the cat box, and all she could think of was Sev.

She got off the bus when the sun was beginning to set, casting an eerie red glow over the worn stone buildings. Her house was isolated and the streets were really quiet for that time of month. She had an odd feeling she wasn't alone.

When no one was around, she pulled out her wand, convinced she heard a noise. Two huge hands grabbed her mouth, dragging her close to a large chest and knocking her wand out of her hand.

"Hello, my sweet." Rudolphus whispered in her ear, shrugging off his invisibility cloak. She tried to scream, but a silencing charm was placed upon her. Struggling, he held her tight until he placed a body bind curse on her. Terrified, she looked into his ruthless eyes, as it was the only thing she could see. He smiled, draping the invisibility cloak over them.

"I've come to finish where I left off."

* * *

I have a love/hate relationship with my characters. They hate it and I love it. Ama will kill me one of these days. 


	13. In the Snape Household

Omigawd guys...I am SO sorry for not posting earlier, but I've had exams and, like, no time to do any fanfictioning.

The Saga Continues! Except I would like to make a teeny tiny little correction regarding to the previous chapters. Any references to Bellatrix at school should be changed to Narcissa...otherwise Narcissa (who is apparently the youngest) would have a huge age gap between Lucius and herself, and baby Draco would be born during her time at school. but since we dont know the age difference between Bellatrix and Rudolphus, i'd like to keep Ruddy still at school (Bella has a toyboy, lol)

All recognisable characters, places and items therewithbelong to JKR

Ama belongs to me, mwahahahaahaaaa!

* * *

Snape paced the floor of his room in Spinner's End, not even bothering to turn on the lights once the sun had set. He was waiting for an owl from Lily, who was sending him details of the upcoming New Year's party. He already missed her: her vivacious green eyes, her deep red hair sparkling like rubies and her sweet innocent laugh. He had surprised himself last night, taking her by the hand and running out in the pristine snow near the lake, finding a small hollow where they cuddled and kissed. Both parties thoroughly enjoyed themselves, and Snape hoped that experience could be repeated.

"Severus?" his mother called from down the stairs, "Sevy, dear, come down and talk. We haven't seen you all year!" Snape groaned and looked out of the window mournfully. Silently he left the room and walked down the stairs. The living room was almost exactly the same as he had left it six months earlier: the carpet immaculately clean; his father reclining in his favourite armchair; the rickety table, on which their evening meal was already set out by his worn mother; and the peeling wallpaper where photos and a picture of the Virgin Mary hung, slightly lopsided. The only difference was the spare Christmas decorations and the dilapidated Christmas tree in the corner.

"How is that son of mine?" his father asked as he shut the book he was reading. Snape bent down and gave his father the mandatory kiss and hug he was expected to give.

"I am good." Snape said, sitting down in his usual spot next to his father. His mother brought out roast vegetables and placed them on the table. Snape noted that his mother looked more tired than usual and wondered if anything had happened recently. Tobias Snape stabbed at a few roast potatoes and placed them on his son's plate.

"You're looking pretty good, Severus. What did you do to your hair, eh?" his father asked, helping himself to some roast pumpkin.

"I took a potion for it." he replied shortly.

"That's good; so, I hear that you've got a girlfriend?"

"That is correct."

"Well done, Sev. What's her name?" Tobias asked, scratching the tip of his hooked nose.

"Lily…Lily Potter. I'm going to her New Year's party." Snape said, hiding a small grin.

"That's good…Oi! Elle! Where's the meat?" Tobias yelled. There was a small yelp in the kitchen.

"I-It's nearly ready, Toby! I won't be a second." Snape's mother called from the kitchen. After a few brief moments, Eileen appeared from the kitchen holding a small roast in her oven mitts.

"Oh, and about time too." Tobias sneered. Eileen looked away and walked out with the meat, but not before she tripped over the edge of the carpet. In a second, Eileen had fallen to the ground with a thud and the roast meat scattered across the floor.

"You clumsy bitch!" Tobias yelled launching from his seat, "what the fuck am I going to have for dinner, eh? Some stupid potatoes? Sit down Sev!" he turned to Snape who had just got up to help his mother. Snape grimaced as he sat back down, forced to witness the event unfolding.

"I'm sorry," Eileen whimpered, scrambling to pick up the plate, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Stop your whimpering, you bitch." Tobias swiped Eileen's face with the back of his hand. She sat down hard, bringing a hand to her face. She glanced at him with sheer hatred, "bastard." She muttered.

"What was that?" he yelled, grabbing a fistful of hair and wrenching her head back, "you filthy whore! You abomination of nature, you should be burned like the witch you are!" he slapped her hard, causing a trickle of blood to drip from her nose. Tobias turned to Snape with a sneer, "If you're not getting treated with respect at school Sev, demand it! You are a man and you have the right to be treated with respect by your inferiors; isn't that right Elle?"

"Y-Yes…" she cried.

"Yes what?"

"Yes s-sir." Tobias let her go and she fell into a crumpled heap sobbing.

"Stop your pathetic whimpering and clean this mess up. Sev. Eat." Tobias commanded, and he stormed up the stairs to their bedroom. Snape ignored his father's command and rushed to his mother's side.

"Mum?" he whispered, taking a clean handkerchief from his jacket pocket, offering it to her. She quietly took it, fat tears rolling down her cheeks and mixing with the blood from her nose, "it's gotten worse, hasn't it?" he enquired.

She nodded.

"Leave him."

"I can't." she sobbed. Snape looked furiously at the picture of the Virgin Mary hanging on the wall in her distant holiness. He wasn't particularly religious, but his mother was as pious as the pope; which made it very frustrating for young Snape.

"Where's your wand?" he asked, helping his mother from the floor.

"He's taken it," she whispered, "he took it one night when I was asleep, I don't know where it's gone."

"Use your legimency," he stated, grabbing the hunk of roast meat from under the table, "you taught me it years ago…what's stopping you from using it now? Especially on a muggle like dad…" Eileen suddenly broke down into a catharsis of crying.

"I-I can't…even if I get my wand back…I d-don't think I can use it…" she wept, covering her face with shaking hands. Snape's black eyes widened.

"You lie."

"I'm not…look," and Eileen stared directly into her sons eyes. There was no lie there, yet something else swam beneath the surface of her mind's eye. She hastily averted her eyes away from her son.

"Mother. Are you hiding something from me?" he asked, grabbing her face gently and turning her to face him, "something I should know?" Eileen shut her dark eyes as if in pain, "show me mother," he asked forcibly.

"No, I-I can't Sevy…"

Snape jabbed her ribs hard and her eyes flew open. Then she was transfixed into his dark hypnotic eyes, unable to turn away. He didn't need to even whisper 'legimens' as he broke through the paper-thin barrier she called Occulmency. This startled him, as his mother used to be a very strong Occulmens, often exhausting him as he tried to break through her barriers when he was younger. An image formed and Snape saw his teen mother talking happily with a young adult that was his father. They were walking in a wooded glade alone, and Tobias Snape was layering compliments to Eileen. Suddenly he grabbed her and violently kissed her on the mouth; Eileen seemed to be enjoying it until he pushed her into a tree. Eileen told Tobias to stop, but he didn't and continued. Very quickly, a rape scene ensued.

Snape desperately wanted to look away, but there was more to come: Eileen was crying miserably, her mother and father were asking who the father was. The memory after that was a wedding, and a heavily pregnant Eileen walked up the isle, not looking at her grim husband. Then Eileen was holding a baby Severus.

Snape wrenched himself away and jumping to his feet in shock. Eileen was on the floor, lying heavily on her elbow. She had stopped crying, but her eyes were haunted, vacant.

"A child of rape," he sneered, "Me. A child of rape." He said slowly again, backing away, his arms failing out to grab something, "you stupid woman. You should havegotten rid ofme. Killed me." And he turned away from the haunted woman and ran up the stairs.

He closed the door quietly and lent on it, exhausted. He fell on his bed, listening to the springs strain under his weight. He didn't know how long he lay there on his bed, watching the stars move around the sky through his open window; but he knew that the ice that formed in the quiet corners of his room was nowhere as cold as the despair he felt in his heart.

* * *

Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! Sevy's all emo! Well, you would bewouldn't you, if all your existance is based on a lie. And Ama is coming back, never you mind. 


	14. Simple Poison

Hello! Slowly getting there, thanks for all the reviews (thanks for the link Andrea). I've been working, and writers block doesnt help. I'll try and update quicker! Many letters from many people in this one. Enjoy.

Oh, and apparently I said Lily Potter in the last chapter. Sorry! My mistake!

All recognisable characters belong to JKR. I just like twisting their little universes. mwahahahahahaaaa!

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Snape jolted awake, his breath frosting immediately in his cold room. He shivered, hugging himself tightly. He scrambled out of bed and closed the windows, wincing as his cold limbs began to warm up. He felt filthy, and numb. He needed to get away from the house, away from his family. He noticed a pile of letters that had accumulated over the night, and he numbly opened the first. It was from Ama:

_Hi Sev, Ama here._

_Sorry if I missed you last night, I came home late,_

_Muggle transport can be so infuriating._

_I was invited to Lucius' Christmas Party, did you get an invite?_

_I heard your time at Sluggy's party was fun._

_Do you want to catch up over the holidays?_

_Love lots. Amaryllis._

Snape looked over the letter briefly and shook his head in annoyance. Over the…incidents…that happened the night before, he had totally forgotten about contacting Ama. He flipped to the other letter in a green envelope. Snape looked at the seal with a small smirk; the Malfoys always indulged in the most flamboyant luxuries and their family crest in pure silver ink was no exception. He ripped open the envelope for the invitation:

_Severus Snape_

_You have been invited to the Malfoys' Chirstmas party_

_By invite only_

_RSVP to the Malfoys before 24th December_

_This invite is a portkey_

_Do not destroy_

_The portkey will be activated on 8pm, 25th December_

_Formal Dress only_

He folded the invite carefully and placed in his trunk. There were three more letters; one was a scrawled note placed inside an envelope with an ornate Black coat of arms.

_Sev_

_Mother's lost it at Sirius and he left the home; he says he's not coming back. Mum's gone and blasted him off the family tree and I'm really scared._

_Can you come over? I need someone to talk to, and I'm afraid that mum will hex me next. You know how my DADA scores are like, and she won't do anything when others are around. Wilkes, Avery, Nott and the others are coming over later._

_Regulus A. Black_

Snape cursed, he knew something like this would happen in the Black household concerning Sirius. However, he pocketed the letter, fully intending to go. He wasn't going to waste his time in dingy shack he called home with the word 'Rape' spinning around his head faster than a whirlwind. The next letter was clearly from Lily, addressed to him in neat cursive script:

_To Sev_

_Hi! Missing you already. My parents are giving me the hardest time about having a boyfriend, especially my sister Petunia (she doesn't like magic much) oh well, I expect you'll meet them all later. By the way, the party starts at seven, but I've only just remembered that you live all the way in the north (I'm in the south, as you might recall) so you can stay a day or two at my place. You know where I live_

_Love Lots_

_Lilly Evans_

Snape also pocketed that letter snugly into his breast pocket before turning to the last letter.

_Snape_

_Don't you dare hurt Lily._

_R. J. L._

He looked at the letter, a frown appeared on his face. He didn't have a clue who RJL was. He was thinking along the lines of Rastaban or Rudolphus Lestrange and wondering why they wanted anything to do with Lily. Then he rolled his eyes and slapped his forehead: it was Lupin!

"Why would Lupin be sending me hate mail?" Snape asked himself, making sure the card wasn't cursed. Perhaps Lupin also cared about Lily. Snape's heart did the unthinkable: it softened for this young man. Shaking his head, he pulled out several pieces of parchment and a quill.

_Lupin_

_I don't plan to._

_S.S_

He wroteLupin's letter with some bizarrely strangesatisfaction.

_Regulus_

_I'll be there as soon as I can. Is it possible for me to stay a night or two? I'll explain later._

_Severus_

He wrote hastily.

_To the Malfoys_

_Thank you for your generous invite, I'll be delighted to come._

_Merry Christmas_

_Severus Snape_

He wrote a quick letter for Lily.

_To Dearest Lily_

_Thank you for your letter, and I also miss you greatly. I'll take the opportunity to stay at your place. It is very generous and I hope no-one minds if I stay a few days. I shall talk to you soon._

_Lots of love. Sev._

Finally he quickly scratched a letter to Amaryllis.

_To Ama_

_I'll love to catch up with you sometime. In fact I was wondering if I could stay at your place after New Years until the end of the holidays. There have been issues at home I would desperately like to get away from. I'm going to be cutting across the country for a while, so I might not have time to speak with you often. I am coming to the Malfoys' Christmas party. I'll see you there._

_Sev_

He gave his letters to his owl, Silas, who was grumpy for the amount of letters he had to post.

"They're all urgent, Silas. Please send them as quickly as possible. Send the one to Regulus first." He told the owl. Silas hooted wearily and ghosted off into the early morning. Snape then turned and stuffed everything he owned into two trunks. With a quick tap of his wand, he reduced the size of one trunk and squished it into the other, and then made the bigger one very light. He knew it wasn't exactly legal, but the Ministry wouldn't really know if the magic came from his mother or him.

Carrying his trunk down the stairs quietly, he saw no-one around. His father was obviously working in the factory nearby. His mother was not in the house as far as he was concerned. Snape brushed back his black hair and searched the drawers and found the key to the Gringotts vault in London and several gold Galleons, and he stuffed those in his pocket and began to creep outside.

"Are you leaving Severus?" a sad voice asked behind him. He turned at saw his mother, ghost-like on the stairs.

"Yes." He said sharply, reaching for the doorknob.

"Before you go, can you do a few things for me?" she asked, dark circles around her eyes were visible; whether they were for physical abuse or lack of sleep Snape didn't know.

"What?" he asked, stopping briefly.

"Make me a potion. A simple potion." She said, handing over a scrap of paper. On it was the name of a poison which gave the drinker a quick and painless death.

"Mother?" he asked, looking up with terrified eyes, "I don't think I could do that." He threw the paper away.

"Please," she said flatly, "once you go out those doors, you will never see me again. Just do this for me, once last act as my son." Snape's eyes were wide, but soon they turned cold and steely.

"Why?"

"Please! Sevy dear," she started to sob, falling to her knees, "I can't do it myself." Snape looked at her mother in disgust, then dropped his trunk. He knelt down next to her.

"Yes. I'll do it." he said. She looked up with a wild and savage happiness.

"Thank you." She said, falling completely on the floor as he went looking for a cauldron and a few ingredients.

-o0o-

Snape looked out the window of the purple Knight Bus, his eyes empty. He never found out what the potion was to be used for: suicide or murder. He didn't get the chance to look into her eyes. As he left, she told him that the house was his, along with the money in Gringotts. She kissed him goodbye, and the door closed with an ominous clack. He didn't say a word through all of it, only communicating once with the conductor Steve Shunpike.

"'Ere we go Mister Snape, 12 Grimmuld Place. Oo bet'er 'urry up, we've got a busy day today," Steve said, not unkindly. Snape despondently left the bus and walked into the midday sun. He walked towards the gap of the muggle homes 10 and 13, watching the Black family household appear from apparently nowhere. Regulus was already waiting outside, bouncing a ball against the wall. He stopped when Snape approached.

"Sev! Thank goodness you're here. Mum's totally flipping out. Inside and up to my room quickly, before you stand still long enough to become a target. Be careful of Kreacher, he's moody when mum's moody." Regulus explained quickly, his voice a little higher than usual. Without a word, Snape was rushed through the staircases into Regulus' room, which was painted a dark blue and had a fully enchanted roof which contained the planets moving silently moving against a black void.

"You can stay here for a while, we'll just get Kreacher to bring our food up here," Regulus breathed, safe in his own room, "mum shrieks every time she hears the word 'family'."

"I feel like shrieking at that word myself." Snape shrugged, setting down his trunk.

"You'd said something had happened." Regulus said, sitting on his very large bed. Snape began to detail the events of the night before, excluding his unwanted discovery and the events that morning except that he vowed not to go back for the rest of the year. The grandfather clock in the hall chimed two o'clock, and Regulus looked at his watch.

"The others will be coming soon," Regulus stated, "along with their fathers. We're going to have a few guests staying tonight, and all those that are of age will be in the meeting hall downstairs. There's an important man coming: did you ever hear of Lord Voldemort?"

* * *

Dun Dun Daaa! To Be Continued.

VoldyVoldyVoldy!


	15. The Seduction of Severus Snape

God, guys, so sorry. I had the inconveniece of moving to another country to attend to before this. Anyway, did anyone check the Black Family tree? Wow! Hey, if you assume Charlus Potter is Harry's grandfather, he's related to Draco, Sirius and Neville and Phineus Nigellus is his Great Great Great Grandfather (though it's very disconcerting to see that all the members of the family tree died very young; think of Harry!) And Bellatrix's father was 13 when she was born 00;;

Don't own Harry Potter or characters.

* * *

Snape looked at Regulus with wide, incredulous eyes, "The Dark Lord? The one who attacks all the muggles and muggleborns?" Snape said, sitting quietly on a black leather armchair.

"I know; doesn't He sound fantastic?" Regulus grinned, bouncing quietly on his bed, "To think, we might have someone getting the mudbloods to work for us. No more scrounging around in the dirt by us wizards; living the life of luxury!" and he lay back on the bed with a contented sigh. Snape looked at him with disgust.

"You're already living in luxury."

"So?"

"You're sounding a lot like that guy that worked with Grindewald: Hitler." Snape said smoothly.

"Pah," Regulus dismissed the topic with the wave of his hand, "It's not like that those greedy Jews didn't have it coming in the first place."

"You're terrible, Regulus." Snape said faintly, slumping in the armchair. He wouldn't admit it to Regulus, but he was scared; scared by the fact that the most demonic presence in the wizarding world was to be coming to that very household. He was afraid that the Dark Lord would expose him for the person he _really_ was; a half-blood, despicable in the eyes of the elitist pure-blood families. If Regulus knew who he was…what would he do? He could not afford to be hated by those he regarded as friends; after all, he was hated by most of the world any way, including his own mother and father.

A knock at the door caused Snape to jump in the chair. He turned around and saw Avery come into the room, a friendly smile on his face, followed by Wilkes, Nott and an ecstatic Kreacher.

"Fine lads, yes they are, purest in blood," he muttered, carrying a tray of treacle tarts and lemonade, "perhaps the Dark Lord will reward their parents and household for not deviating from the good, old ways. Yes, yes they are good lads," he set the tray on a table, and bowing, left the room.

Snape didn't trust the house elf, in fact, Kreacher worried him. The house elf was surprisingly good at legimens and could always tell the bloodline of a particular person. Snape was waiting for the day that the elf would point out his heritage to the entire household, but perhaps he was slightly better at concealing his heritage than most.

Snape helped himself to a treacle tart and listened to the other's talk; apparently there was a large congregation downstairs with the Dark Lord and his followers, discussing…business. The boys were theorising what types of business they would be discussing when Snape felt the back of his neck prickle. He had felt this sensation before, when his mother would send out a legimency pulse to find where her son was, whether in the home or in the marketplace. But this type of pulse was more than a tracking device, it was gathering information. Snape shut his mind off and performed Occlumens, watching how the small group of boys stutter in the conversation, look around dazed, then continue as if nothing had happened.

Snape could feel the presence circle his mind like a hungry fox at a henhouse, trying to find it's way in. Whoever it was, he or she was a very powerful Legimens; and he felt sick to the stomach when the thought about the Dark Lord trying to get into his mind. As suddenly as it had appeared the presence was gone. He exhaled in relief, but he did not let his guard down.

"Are you alright, Sev?" Avery asked, munching on a treacle tart, "you don't look too well."

"I'm okay, just tired…" _Tired in my body; tired in my mind; tired in my soul._

"Get some rest; it looks like you've been dragged by a broom from your wrists." Avery suggested.

"Interesting description, Avery," he said, trying to smile but only getting a sneer out. He closed his pained eyes, and went into a fitful sleep.

………………………

He woke up and saw it was night. He could've slept until the next morning, but he was woken up by incensed muttering. He looked around in the dark and saw that the boys were asleep together on the four poster bed, snoring peacefully away. He looked towards the corner of the room where Kreacher was rustling though his luggage.

"What the hell are you doing Kreacher!" Snape hissed, springing from the armchair.

"Horrid boy, that one is, threatening Kreacher…yet Kreacher knows of ugly boy's past," the elf chuckled horridly, "yes, Master Regulus knows also…" Snape reached down and dangled the elf by his wrist.

"How does Regulus know?" Snape gritted his teeth to keep himself from shouting, "how do _you_ know of my past?"

"Kreacher knows _everyone's_ family. Every pure-blood child born Kreacher knows his name and where he was born. Kreacher knows your mother; her family is not so prestige as ours. Kreacher doesn't know your father, his name is not in the books, so Kreacher did some researching. You're father is a muggle. A despicable muggle who got your whore of a mother pregnant before marriage." He cackled, ignoring Snape's crushing grip tighten on each sentence, "Kreacher told Master Regulus of the friends he was socialising with…Master did not care and Master forbade me telling anyone of your…heritage. I must obey him."

Snape flung the house elf on the ground, getting angrier than he could possibly imagine, "So why the hell are you going through my luggage!" he said in his most deadly voice. Kreacher held up several photos and his walkman.

"Photos of a filthy mudblood harlot with more prestige than my masters should not be allowed in the half-blood Prince's luggage…and neither should the muggle toy!" And Kreacher disappeared down the bedroom's open door. Snape ran after him, making little more noise than a cat as he bounded down the stairs and hallways of that magnificent, nearly empty mansion. He reached the massive drawing room, where a large fire, larger than the tall frame of Snape, was roaring. Kreacher seemed like a fire imp, grinning triumphantly as he was about to throw the items into the fire. Snape started forwards as the elf dropped the photos in the flames. He pushed the creature aside as he plunged his hands into the fire, reaching for the curling photos. He withdrew his arms with the photos largely intact, but he immediately felt his body under a huge amount of pain. He was on fire, but couldn't scream.

Suddenly, he felt as if he was underwater, in freezing artic seas. He looked at his hands feebly, seeing that they were pink, raw and bleeding. He dropped to knees and then to the floor, and watched as a figure robed in black swoop towards him. _Death,_ he thought, _I'm not afraid of you._ He passed out.

………………………

"I have never seen such loyalty…or stupidity, before," a soft, sibilant voice said. Snape's consciousness was floating in limbo. He expected pain as he woke up, but as he twitched his fingers, he felt nothing. There was no heat or light from the Black's fireplace.

"Am I…dead?" He asked into the darkness.

"What makes you think you're dead?" the voice asked.

"Well, I was on fire just before…and I saw a dark figure coming towards me…now, I'm in darkness and speaking to…someone and I'm not in pain any more." He looked for a light, he was expecting a light nearby and sure enough, there was a faint light to his left. He turned towards it, but as he looked closely he saw a dark hooded man holding a lighted wand. He was still in the Black's mansion, "oh, so I'm not dead yet." He said with some disappointment.

"No, you're still alive…" He said. The figure stooped down and picked up the singed and curled photos.

He shifted into a sitting position, "So, who do I owe my wizard's debt to? What's your name?" He understood full well that he owed his life to this man.

"My name? My real name is not important…" The voice drifted. Snape's hair stood on end.

"Are you…the Dark Lord?" He asked, his heart falling into his stomach.

"Yes." There was a short silence.

"Why didn't you let me die? Surely that house elf house has told you everything about me? Led me here to you…" Snape's voiced quavered

"On the contrary, the elf disapparted as soon as he saw me. I don't think he'll be back for some time." The dark figure of Lord Voldemort came closer and Snape could now see the outline of his pale face in the wand light. The Dark Lord was looking at his photos of Lily, "My, my, isn't she a pretty one. No doubt your sweetheart, judging by the way you nearly killed yourself saving these mere pieces of paper." He placed the pieces on a side table. Voldemort eased himself into a large leather chair. Snape sat where he was; shaking in fear, "so, tell me why am I going to kill you after I saved your life…after all, I find a wizard's debt a little more useful than a corpse," he asked the teenager.

Snape opened and shut his mouth like a fish. He always had an answer for everything, so this unnatural silence in his mind shook him to the core.

"Because you're a Half-Blood? Yes, I heard every single word upstairs that creature had said. I listen to every conversation in the house…it was a spell I learned during my trip in Romania…" Voldemort trailed.

"Then why didn't you leave me to die?" Snape asked. He was a little braver as Voldemort didn't seem in the mood to kill anyone, in fact, he seemed quite open for conversation.

"Because, boy, I find you interesting. I know it was you who performed fantastic occlumens on my earlier without a moments warning. You are gifted, I give you that, for I see you constantly creating spells and learning new ones…and you are deeply wronged by your parents…I child of rape I see."

Snape felt his stomach drop. He was truly a fantastic legimens, for he could not feel the slight pressure on his forehead that usually came with mind reading, or the residue thoughts that came with it. But the memory of his parents still burned hotly in his mind, and he was angered that Voldemort brought it up, "I don't want to hear about it," he said hotly.

"I understand that you don't want to hear about it…after all, I am ashamed of my own upbringing." Voldemort said. Snape looked at him blankly, "I am a half-blood myself. And, I guess, I am also a child of rape."

"H-how?" Snape asked, almost to shocked to speak.

"My mother placed my father under a love potion…and had me through that. It was forced…not wanted. It was rape." Voldemort's long fingers gripped the chair, "Naturally, my father didn't want me and abandoned me and my mother once he came round from the potion. My mother died having me and I was left in a muggle orphanage. The children hated me and taunted me. They got their own back eventually, but not after I endured through the worst: at school, I was strung up by my wrists and stripped of my clothes. I was humiliated." Snape, who had been humiliated throughout his life, felt sympathy for the Dark Lord.

"But thing's were better at Hogwarts, right?"

"Much better. In fact, the best times of my life were there. There, I felt the comfort of belonging with those like me, a sense of sanctuary, and best of all: answers. I found out many secrets while at Hogwarts. Did you know I am the direct descendant of Salazar Slytherin?"

"Sir, why are you telling me this?" Snape asked, shaking again, but this time because of the cold.

"Because, I trust you." Voldemort said, flicking his wand to the fireplace and a dark red fire leapt up. The room was suddenly clear in the red light, and Snape was still in the middle of the floor, his back to the fire. He still couldn't see the Dark Lord's face clearly.

"Trust me? Don't you trust your followers?" he asked.

"The Death Eaters? Most of them want to feel powerful or gain glory under my command. They couldn't keep a secret about me, even if they didn't want to tell anyone. But you, Severus Snape, you're different. Something you don't want and are afraid of, is anyone knowing the truth…you're safer than a Gringotts bank account." Voldemort's thin lips curled into a smile. Voldemort's hood was thrown back and Snape could see his face perfectly for the first time. Crystal red eyes held his own dark ones with the hypnotic gaze of a snake.

Snape stood up by compulsion as Voldemort got up from his chair and walked over. Suddenly, in Lord Voldemort's gaze, he felt extreme deep pleasure…not sexual, but something more profound and ghastly. Snape could no longer see the room, but only the colour red and Voldemort's eyes.

_Red._

_Red._

_So red. Red. Lily's hair._

**Do you hear me, Severus Snape?**

_Red. Yes. Red. Mother's poison._

**Do you want truth?**

_Amaryllis' lips. Oh, so very red. Yes._

**Do you want justice?**

_Yes. My dress robes. Red. Red._

**Do you want purity? Of your soul and body?**

_Blood. Yes. His blood. Red._

**Do you want power? Love? Passion?**

_Red. Red. I'm drowning in it. Yes._

**I can give you these pleasures and more…as long as you serve me.**

_Give me these pleasures. Red. I want them._

**Do you promise to serve me when you are of age?**

_Yes. Yes._

**When you are ready, call my name, Voldemort, three times as loud as you can. I will come.**

It became dark and empty in the room. Voldemort was gone. Snape stood alone, with a sense of longing for the deep pleasure he had just felt. In that episode of red, Voldemort had tapped into his most carnal and perverse pleasures: using his mother's poison to kill his father; having both Ama and Lily in his possession; and a deep desire to kill those who touched the two girls in any way. He collapsed on the ground, aghast of the thoughts he never knew he had, yet his mind filled with triumph and self-knowing.

* * *

Long chapter...I enjoyed writing this. 


	16. Confrontations and Sympathy

Here we go, another Chapter in the screwed up life of Severus Snape. Short...but it reveals my most bitterest secret...this story originally was a song fic GOMGWTF!I highly recommend you listen to "Poison" by Alice Cooper. I was inspired by this song.

Don't own any JKR characters and places

* * *

Snape walked back up to Regulus' room, his heart thudding in his chest. His mind brought up more images of perverse desires that he never really knew he had. A particularly wicked thought made him gasp and clutch a doorframe for support; he achieved an erection so quick and powerful, that it caused intense physical pain. Gripping the mahogany wood, he felt disgusted; Voldemort _had_ seduced him.

The dark wizard often used this tool to gain followers…and the number of Death Eaters showed how potent that charm was. An addiction to the Dark Lord was never a pleasant or happy one. The desire to see those images again and again, bringing up longings and cravings one never knew they had, it would be too great for many people.

For Snape, he only began to feel ill. Against the doorframe, he performed simple Occlumency and the thoughts went away. He felt utterly exhausted and stumbled into Regulus' room. Outside, the sun was coming through the thick London cloud; bathing the blue room in a reddish tinge…everything was purple. He went to his seat and watched the sun rise, meditating a little.

Avery yawned and stumbled out of bed, scratching his day old fuzz of a beard he was trying to grow, "Whaddya doin' up, Sev," he said in his early morning drawl.

"Watching you four boys mutter, moan and grab each other in your sleep like the perverted old bat that I am," he responded without batting an eyelid, "I just woke up early."

"Glad to see that you're finally your old self again." Avery mumbled his way to the bathroom.

The irony, oh the irony.

For the lack of a presence beside him in the bed, Regulus woke up and stretched. He grabbed a pillow and bashed Wilkes and Nott on the head, "Wakey wakey! Rise and shine! Christmas Eve with the Malfoys!" he bounced, much to the annoyance of the two remaining boys.

"Mnmmf…Reggie, Christmas _Eve_. Let us sleep in until six o'clock." Nott mumbled and huddled underneath the blanket. Regulus ignored this and began to race from the room, then suddenly halted.

"Whaddya doing Reggie?" Wilkes asked, tousling his hair.

"Uh…early morning warm-up." Regulus replied, jogging on the spot. Snape saw a deeper meaning to this action. Regulus was about to run into his brother's room to wake him up, but stopped when he realised that he was no longer there. It surprised him a little to see that Sirius was so close to the younger Black.

So the morning passed with little incident, Wilkes and Nott leaving at midday and Avery making his exit a little later. It was nearing evening when Snape confronted Regulus.

"Regulus," Snape began; he was dressed in his grey dress robes, having been earlier informed that it was a fashion _faux pas_ to wear the same outfit twice, "I know that you know about me." Regulus, shirtless, looked at him warily.

"What do I know about you?" He asked, draping a crisp white shirt about his arms.

"Kreacher told me. Don't hide it from me; I know that you know what I'm talking about." Snape said coolly. Regulus looked into his mirror, doing his buttons up.

"I don't know your position, in fact, I never will. I'm a pure blood, and a filthy rich one at that. The only thing I will have to worry about in life is people pressuring me to conform to the old ways."

"But you do conform. You hate muggles, you said so earlier."

"That's just an act," Regulus snapped, "I live in a home where everything is ranked and judged on your prestige; my own brother, ridiculed out of home because he was in a different school house and did not hound the muggleborns like he was supposed to. He left because he had the courage to form his own ideals about the world," He ranted, his face flushed red. He paused, breathing deeply, "That's where he and I differ; I'm in Slytherin because I'm a coward. I don't have the guts to do what he does…I'm too focused on inheriting the family fortune and my birth title." Regulus slumped on a chair.

"I'm sorry that you have been estranged by your brother, but unfortunately I don't understand why this has anything to do with me."

"Sirius and I have one thing in common: that is, having a soft spot for muggles, muggleborns, half bloods and blood traitors. I believe you fit somewhere in there. If Sirius knew of your predicament, he might actually think before disliking you."

"It's not dislike; it's mutual hatred. I hated him before we even met; I was blamed for a prank he did in the first week of Hogwarts." Snape corrected with a slight growl in the voice.

"Shame, he felt guilty about that, but I think you over did it when you hexed his dragon hide gloves; he couldn't use his hands for a week." Regulus mused. Snape looked at him sharply.

"He felt guilty?"

"My brother does have a conscious, but is inclined to use it infrequently."

"So you've told no one about me?"

"Not a soul; besides, I'd like to have a person to talk to about my muggle music collection." Regulus said, looking at Snape slyly. Snape raised an eyebrow, "I don't know about you, but I have a great Alice Cooper track you might like." Regulus grinned, taking the record from its sheath and putting it on an old gramophone. Alice Cooper's 'Poison' began to play. Snape shook his head in disbelief.

"I love this song, how did you know?" He asked, tapping his foot to the instrumental intro.

…_Your cruel demise_

_Your blood like ice_

_Your look could kill_

_My pain_

_Your thrill…_

_I wanna love you, but I better not touch, (don't touch!)_

_I wanna hold you, but my senses tell me to stop (don't stop)_

_I wanna kiss you, but I want it too much (too much!)_

_I wanna taste you, but your lips are venomous poison…_

_You're poison_

_You're poison running through my veins_

_You're poison_

_I don't wanna break these chains_

_Your mouth so hot_

_Your web uncut_

_Your skin so wet_

_Black lace on sweat_

_I hear you calling and it's needles and pins (needles and pins)_

_I want to hurt you, just to hear you screaming my name (your name)_

_Don't want to touch you but you're under my skin_

_I want to kiss you, but your lips are venomous poison…_

_You're poison running through my veins_

_You're poison_

_I don't wanna break these chains!_

_Poison…_

_One look could kill_

_My pain,_

_Your thrill…_

_I wanna love you but I better not touch (Don't touch!)_

_I wanna hold you but my senses tell me to stop_

_I wanna kiss you but I want it too much (too much!)_

_I wanna taste you but your lips are venomous poison_

_You're poison running through my veins_

_Poison_

_You're poison_

_I don't wanna break these chains_

_Poison_

_I wanna love you but I better not touch (Don't touch!)_

_I wanna hold you but my senses tell me to stop_

_I wanna kiss you but I want it too much (too much!)_

_I wanna taste you but your lips are venomous poison_

_Ye-eah! Well I don't wanna break these chains!_

_Poison_

_Running deep inside my veins_

_Burning deep inside my veins_

_Poison_

_I don't wanna break these chains_

_Poison_

_I don't wanna break these chains_

_Poison…_

"Hmmm, a song about poison, passion, sung by a guy who likes to dress in black, it seems your type. Besides, I heard you humming the chorus several times in the common room." Regulus smiled, tying a sash around his waist. He shrugged a light blue coat on, "It's nearly eight…time to go. Are you ready?"

"Yes, I'm ready." He held out his invite.

"I'll see you at the party."

"See you there." Snape lifted the corners of his mouth. The invite began to glow blue and the port key lifted him away into dazzling lights and swirling colours.

* * *

I'm 99.99 percent certain that "Poison" was out at that time. I just had to insert the lyrics :3 


	17. Christmas With The Malfoys Part I

Yeee-eeeaah, I know, I'm late. Very sorry, but I have exams and this is the only time I have to download this (I wrote, like a paragraph a week pretty much, just to fit into my schedule.) And I ask myself, why am I uploading this two days before my bio exam and 4 days before my chem? Because I am a procrastinator! The world's largest one!

Heh, anyway, enjoy the chapter...the Malfoy's riches are explained :O

JKR owns all recognisable characters. Ama is mine goddammit! ditto for Malfoy family home.

* * *

Snape nearly stumbled as he dropped to the floor. Brushing back his hair, he studied his surroundings and was duly impressed. He had heard of the Malfoy's wealth, but he didn't expect a house quite so large. The floors were of the highest grade white marble and the hallway in which he had landed was lined with massive mirrors and the chandeliers were made from pure quartz. Every few metres a statue stood against the wall, depicting family busts or mythological scenes. He felt oddly colourless in the house entirely awash with light and art. A young house elf with large bat-like ears and great green eyes appeared beside him.

"Would sir like to leave his coat with Dobby?" The house elf bowed magnificently.

"Uh, no, I'll keep it with me." He stuttered.

"Follow me, dear sir." Dobby indicated and trotted off down the hall. As they drew closer to the end of the hall more people came though off side passages and through doors, all led by house elves. They were all beautiful; all tall; all graceful. Immediately, Snape felt resentful, feeling like a crow amongst peacocks. The line of chatting people was led into the ballroom. He raised his eyes and was once again awed by the sheer magnificence of the room: the roof seemed to go on into infinity and crystal orbs of light floated around the room; the black marble floor was so highly polished that he felt like he was walking on water (this was confirmed to be real water as he watched several schools of jewel-like fish flit benath the surface); he was very interested in the large paintings of dancers lined the walls, and the subjects of these pictures were the Malfoys of many generations, continuously dancing through one frame to another, all happy and smiling.

"Every Malfoy, when he's come of age or married into the family, is painted onto a portion of the canvas." A silky voice said behind Snape. He didn't even have to turn around to know that it was Lucius Malfoy speaking.

"Lucius." He smiled briefly. The only son of the prestigious Malfoy family was perhaps the most magnificent peacock of them all; bedecked in dark blue velvet with gold trimmings and any available space was sparkling with jewels, "It's been a while."

"Years; you've grown a fair bit. You were still a shrimp when I last saw you." Lucius guffawed. Snape's face darkened a little.

"Still, it was still a shrimp that saved your sorry ass four years ago. Wandering around in the Forbidden Forest at night wasn't the greatest of plans." He said smoothly.

"Hey, how was I supposed to know that there were dirty great spiders in there? It was a dare after all. I'm just glad you could whip up a potion in time-"

"No need to explain. I've heard it all before. I just wish the idiotic pair James Potter and Sirius Black would walk right into the forest and never come out." Snape gritted.

Lucius gave a non-committed nod, "So you're still fighting with them? I wouldn't insult them if I were you, Potter's family is here for one thing…"

"Wait, Potter has family?" Snape frowned. Lucius quirked an eyebrow and gestured over to a couple further down the hall. They were elderly but still very handsome, and very definitely James' parents. But James was nowhere to been seen, "Where is the Potter boy?"

"Seems that he didn't come this year. Both Sirius and James came every year and managed to cause some mischief each time. Perhaps it might be quiet for once. Severus, come, there's some people who I want you to meet" Lucius grabbed his arm and walked over to two couples. One couple was very elderly and the other was tall and stern, "Severus, these are my parents Abraxas and Lucinda," he gestured to the stern couple, "and these are my grandparents Cordelia and Marcus Malfoy. Everyone, this is an old friend Severus Snape." Snape bowed gracefully.

"What a charming young man." Cordelia, the elderly woman, fluttered her fan. Her husband nodded, "I haven't heard the name Snape before; I say, young man, where do you come from?"

"Uh, I come from North England…" _Crap_ Snape thought _She's trying to find where I fit in the Pure Blood Scale,_ "…but you might not have heard of our family; we've travelled many places; mostly Eastern Europe. I'm the first generation of the Snape family to be brought up fully in England…"

"You do look Eastern European, possibly Romanian in your blood, but Snape sounds so English." The old woman stuttered, speaking mainly to herself.

"It's anglicised; I won't even attempt to pronounce our full family name; even I can't get it right most of the time." Snape smiled, hoping that the old woman would take the bait. She did and tittered, fluttering her fan.

At that moment a familiar scent wafted by, signalling the arrival of the nightingale amongst peacocks. Ama, bedecked in brown and red, swooped by and gave the old woman a tight hug.

"Hello grandma," She sang sweetly, then releasing the old woman to hug the old man, "granddaddy." Lucius came up behind her and swept her off her feet.

"Amarylilly Smallkid, my favourite ickle cousin. I haven't seen you in ages." Lucius hugged her.

"Gah! Put me down, Luci," she struggled, giggling, "I'm fifteen now, not eight." Lucius put her down gently, "Luci, it took me ages to do my hair." She sighed.

"And what is this about Ama being your favourite cousin, Lucius?" An older boy asked, coming from behind. Snape knew instantly who they were: Ama's three elder siblings, Pyrus, Malus and Belladonna. Pyrus was still at Hogwarts as a seventh year and the twins Malus and Belladonna were having successful jobs as Obliviators in the Ministry of Magic. Snape heard Lucius retort, but all light, sounds and movement stopped as he looked at Ama.

Both Ama and Snape were rooted to the spot, but the air between them was electric. Both pairs of dark eyes conveyed uninterrupted thoughts to the other; of sorrow; of despair; of secret desire; of triumph. Snape watched Ama's lips part and mouth four words and as he saw those words he felt Voldemort's red fire sear through his heart, reviving the red dragon of desire.

He took a step forward and lifted his hand, reaching for her. A shy smile crept across her lips and she also stepped forward, only to look over his shoulder in fear. A shadow had definitely fallen over him; he turned ever so slightly to catch a glimpse of a larger man.

Rudolphus Lestrange had arrived at the little gathering with Bellatrix Black, but the young man had his attention on Ama. Snape faced directly to Rudolphus and was drawn to the images presented so boldly in front of his eyes: Ama, crying and naked in the dirt, all innocence lost. Snape didn't have to see much more for the red fire to burn within him again. He raised his fist ready to fight when Rudolphus turned, called away by Bellatrix.

Snape was struck hollow and lowered his fist. He turned to Amaryllis, expecting to find her memories swimming on the surface but was surprised to find none. She was standing there, angry and a little scared, but she had no memory of those events.

"Ama," He started, but her look shut him up.

"He won't go near me now," she whispered to him, "He's engaged now."

"What?" He growled. What did he see in those eyes? Memories? Remnants of dreams? A fantasy? A false illusion? "Engaged?"

"I wasn't supposed to tell you. It is to be announced tonight." Ama said, pulling him away from the group, "Let's dance; it's easier to talk this way." Snape gulped as she grabbed him rather tightly on the shoulder and twirled into the middle of the dance floor. Despite the fact that most of the pureblood families were dying out, there were still certainly a huge number of people on the dance floor. And more importantly, he was far too aware how close he was to her body, occasionally colliding into her as they waltzed.

"Who is Rudolphus engaged to?" He asked as he dipped the dark haired girl.

"Bellatrix Black. It was an arranged marriage; a deal was struck down ages ago between the Black and Lestrange families that the first Black girl was to be married to the first Lestrange boy. Now since Rudolphus is of age, he has to marry her." She said it with a great deal of glee that Snape had to think what she was so happy about.

They swooped past a couple that turned out to be Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Black, both were gazing into each other's plae blue eyes. "I guess Narcissa was happy it wasn't her that was getting married to Rudolphus." Snape remarked.

"Yeah, remember the fights they managed to get into? Narcissa was such a spoilt turd and Rudolphus couldn't do anything because he knew she was his sister-in-law-to-be."

"At least they look satisfied." Snape looked over at the pair, who seemed like they were tolerating with each other.

"They better have to be. The marriage is bound by magical contract…they're pretty much stuck together whether they like it or not." Her grin was malicious.

"So, I see why you're so happy to see them together…"

"…because he'll never try to touch me ever again." She said with such finality that he kept silent. They moved together, just swaying on the spot.

"Did he ever try to touch you…after that incident a few weeks ago?" He finally asked her. She looked at him surprised.

"No. No, not at all. I haven't even seen him for the past week. Why do you ask?"

"Oh no, nothing. I was just concerned about." Snape shook his head. Ama smiled and Snape felt happy.

"Did you see something, Sev?" She demanded, suddenly frowning, "Did you see something in Rudolphus?" She grabbed the front of his dark grey robes. He stuttered, "Did you?" She gritted.

"I-I don't know." He gasped, pushing away, "I don't know what I saw. He was most likely stirring me up on purpose…a false image…I didn't see any corresponding memories to verify what he saw," he pulled her back in and forced himself to dance as they had turned a few heads, "I have to ask you…have you had any blank moments in the past week? Time jumps? Anything?"

"N-No," She shook her head furiously, "Nothing…I remember everything that's happened."

Snape was visibly relived, "He was just being a prick. Don't worry, nothing has happened Ama." Ama looked at him confused and hurt. She laid her head on his chest, frowning. Snape was troubled too, but could help thinking about her soft chest as it pressed against his.

_What the hell? _He thought, _Why am I feeling things for her now after all these years I've known her? We're only supposed to be friends. I have a bloody girlfriend now! Lily!_ He pushed away from her, still holding hands. The red light disappearing from his mind. She blinked, confused once again.

"Let's go to the balcony, I haven't seen outside yet." He said, not to alarm her. She nodded and walked out the tall glass doors. The air was still and calm and steep hills rose up on either side of the mansion, there were large gardens and a lake below and above the stars twinkled dimly, something didn't seem right to Snape, "it's too dark and too warm out here. The moon is not out and the stars are different."

Amaryllis giggled at his confusion, "Take a look at those hills in the distance, it might answer your question." He did so obediently. The hills, he noticed, curved right up so high…

"Oh God, we're in a cave!" He exclaimed, "It's massive!"

"If you listened closely to Professor Binns, you might remember the origin of this place: long ago, a kingdom of goblins, elves and dwarves lived in caves here and right across Europe, mining jewels, gold and living in harmony for several millennia," Amaryllis pointed at the roof, which glinted with a more precious glitter, "it was a paradise, but later both the dwarves and the goblins were fighting with the elves being caught in the middle, the origin of the dispute is unknown to wizards. The war raged on for many centuries until the ancestors of most pure bloods today took advantage of the situation. In short, the dwarves were exiled, the goblins had lost all their magical power and the elves were so indebted to humans they became servants. The ancestors of my family, the Malfoys, chose this cave and have been rich ever since. The Gringotts had the largest cave and used it to their advantage: Gringotts bank."

"Wow, I wish I did pay a bit more attention…when did all this happen?" Snape arched his neck back so he could see a vein of gold more clearly.

"About…two thousand years ago. Most of the original families didn't have much gold in their caves or mines, so some of them are poor now, like the Weasleys and the Gaunts." She replied. Snape looked behind him for a quick look at the crowd. No red-heads, "Don't bother looking for them, the Weasleys haven't been invited for the past three centuries: They married a series of Muggle-borns back then and haven't been forgiven, otherwise they would be here and with some money too. We have a habit of giving money to our families who aren't well off; the Blacks are one of them." She nodded towards Regulus and his parents. There was a crystal tone of a bell signalling the beginning of dinner.

"Are there many pure-blood families left?" Snape asked as they headed to the massive dining room. Ama shook her head.

"Most of the English ones are here: Littlechild; Black; Malfoy; Crouch; Nott; Avery; Diggory; Crabbe; Goyle; Lestrange; Gringott; etc. But in reality we are all one family…and as dinner proceeds, you'll see what happens as our family gets together." She said sourly. Snape looked at her quizzically, but shrugged as he settled down for the banquet.

* * *

Bwamwahahahahahaaaaaaaaaahahaheh! 


End file.
